Love: Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of...

FML for mobile
Free

By Anonymous - 22/03/2015 14:59 - United States

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 924

You deserved it 4 162

Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 17:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 819

You deserved it 3 073

Pain in the ass

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 22:01 - United States - Greenville

Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 128

Quick Stop

By poopy pants - 08/04/2013 01:47 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 380

You deserved it 8 737

Humpty Dumpy

By traumatized - 12/04/2014 18:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 451

You deserved it 9 415

By Anonymous - 15/08/2015 09:32 - Canada - Prince George

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 851

You deserved it 5 084

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 405

You deserved it 48 878

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 455

You deserved it 11 659

By fulloshit - 28/11/2010 02:17 - United States

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 076

You deserved it 4 598

You need more fiber

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 115

Looks like we made it… Oh.

By Anonymous - 12/10/2020 23:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, I went on a walk with my family because I'm trying to be more active. We were near my son's school when I got a grumbling in my stomach. I rushed to find a place to take a dump. As I approached a Porta-Potty, my ass couldn't hold it any longer and I shit myself 20 feet away from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 201

EverettA 16

Monday 23 March 2015 0:20

Take a picture of him when he's holding his crotch and say #circumcision_ftw

lowkeybelieber 7

Monday 23 March 2015 0:13

He kind of ****** you with that post

Comments

GarysMom725 10

Monday 23 March 2015 1:16

And you're still dating this unfeeling, insensitive idiot?

llalala_fml 19

Monday 23 March 2015 15:46

He deserves to be in dumpsville

FMyLyricalAnus 11

Monday 23 March 2015 22:18

Just because he posted that doesn't mean he has no feelings you fuckshit.

partypatty2219 5

Wednesday 21 December 2016 3:24

I found the feminist

mcamilli 14

Monday 23 March 2015 1:36

At least he did say that you were taking a crap!

ItsDutch 16

Monday 23 March 2015 2:01

I don't think that's what "#anal ftw;)" translates to

Polynomial 28

Monday 23 March 2015 3:43

Called him a crap.

LostInTheZone11 29

Monday 23 March 2015 2:03

I hope he realizes that any sexy bedroom romance from you is now dead as the dodo after he was a total ass.

EarlFug 19

Monday 23 March 2015 2:06

Psst guys -- if a woman is good to you, you should be nice to her rather than making her regret it.

amileah13 26

Monday 23 March 2015 2:35

Kick him in the nuts and film him in agony with the title nut cracker :)

rdenkewicz 11

Monday 23 March 2015 2:41

Or so he implied.

jbizzle1987 8

Monday 23 March 2015 2:45

I long for the time when I have such an impressive poop that it effects the way I walk....I guess that's just the difference between men and women.

abstracto1236 15

Monday 23 March 2015 3:17

Well, it's not like he's completely wrong.

hunterjumper88 8

Monday 23 March 2015 3:38

I usually have a pretty good sense if humour, but I don't find this funny at all, I find it rude and disrespectful. If it were me it'd be my ex boyfriend.