Miscellaneous: Today, I tried hallucinogenic mushrooms for the first time with...

By facepalmshroomer - 07/02/2009 23:24 - United States

Today, I tried hallucinogenic mushrooms for the first time with my friend. Little did I know, they last for around 6 hours, and I had class at 3, when I had to give a presentation in front of 30 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 641

You deserved it 85 343

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By swedishdude - 14/11/2009 13:37 - Sweden

Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 017

You deserved it 36 916

Far out

By mary b. - 15/08/2022 14:00

Today, I got a call from my son’s teacher, saying that he raised his hand during a test to say he "couldn't focus, because the ‘metroids’ are harassing me.” Apparently, he forgot about the test and took a healthy dose of shrooms right before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 241

By whatjusthappened - 20/12/2013 08:45 - United States - Federal Way

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 164

You deserved it 4 934

By ugh annoying - 01/07/2011 07:41 - United States

Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 197

You deserved it 3 989

High times

By Anonymous - 23/01/2016 10:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 031

You deserved it 1 635

By drugsforthugs - 18/11/2014 17:26 - United States - Sierra Madre

Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 283

You deserved it 4 444

By dmsmcd - 17/12/2010 09:48 - United States

Today, after a week of insomnia, I finally managed to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, my friends decided to bang on my door, yelling at me to wake up and party with them. I'm now wide awake and hallucinating from lack of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 034

You deserved it 3 977

Performance anxiety

By Anonymous - 15/06/2022 20:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I had a presentation for my university class. The bus was 5 minutes late, and I ended up getting to class right on time. As I took a seat, my group was asked to present. I panicked and totally bombed my presentation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 546

Nature sucks

By JoanAsIs - 15/10/2023 13:30 - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, my friends convinced me to go on a "short" hike. Little did I know, they're actually all avid hikers, whilst I'm more of an "indoor enthusiast." I've now been climbing a never-ending hill for hours, hallucinating about my cozy couch, and praying for a miracle to deliver pizza to the summit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 360

You laugh, you lose

By YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK - 03/11/2012 00:23 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 496

You deserved it 4 153

feelslikeanoose 0

Monday 9 February 2009 3:27

How could you not know that mushrooms would last that long? And why on earth would you do ANY drug other than marijuana before a presentation?? Come-on people!

I_Hate_Tpyos 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 22:15

obviously you were hallucinating too much to read that he said it was his first time.

Comments

AHOLE20 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 3:05

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

I_Hate_Tpyos 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 22:15

obviously you were hallucinating too much to read that he said it was his first time.

feelslikeanoose 0

Monday 9 February 2009 3:27

How could you not know that mushrooms would last that long? And why on earth would you do ANY drug other than marijuana before a presentation?? Come-on people!

akg98 13

Sunday 3 June 2012 10:27

OTHER than marijuana?! Seiriously?! ALL NONPRECIPTION DRUGS R BAD

qqaz 6

Thursday 26 July 2012 8:20

Are you serious?? Is that what mommy taught you? Marijuana is really not a bad drug, unless smoked in very excessive amounts...

insomniac8400 13

Monday 20 August 2012 2:12

Awwww, how precious... the majority of prescription drugs are ten times worse for you than cannabis or even charms. almost every painkiller on the market is basically refined heroin

joenuuuuu 0

Thursday 6 September 2012 7:38

^ i like this guy

redonkulon 2

Monday 9 February 2009 21:43

Yeah so how did the presentation go?

noway_le 0

Tuesday 10 February 2009 3:17

that's hilarious and i can relate in more ways than you can imagine. i love you.

hallucinog3n 0

Tuesday 10 February 2009 12:39

the first time i ever ate mushrooms i had to talk to my mom for 45 minutes, and apparently the conversation we had was completely coherent. i would believe that the presentation did well (although i'd MUCH rather hear that it failed miserably)

MCart_fml 0

Wednesday 11 February 2009 4:50

Your friend gave you a "great day on the beach" amount of mushrooms rather than a "still coherent at a party" amount of mushrooms.

midnyte 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 8:02

I'm sure your presentation was lively and colorful. Literally.

Eir_fml 1

Friday 20 February 2009 2:57

so naturally, you tried them at about 6, and you were fine by 12, and had your presentation go off without a hitch, right? I'm assuming this is true, since you didn't say when you had them