Kids: Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop...

By parenting sucks - 01/07/2011 17:42 - United States

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 596

You deserved it 5 373

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Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/01/2014 21:57 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 714

You deserved it 5 759

By anon - 12/04/2015 10:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my 16 year old daughter convinced her little sister that I am a robot. Now every time I try to talk to her she starts crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 870

You deserved it 2 499

Karma

By Anonymous - 12/03/2022 12:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, my daughter came crying to me that her boyfriend cheated on her. I'd like to comfort her, if it weren't for the fact that she manipulated him into cheating on his previous girlfriend with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 304

By So little trust. - 12/07/2013 23:18 - Canada - Coaldale

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 463

You deserved it 7 662

By ahhhhhhh - 30/07/2019 14:00

Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 624

Quiet

By Anonymous - 07/08/2011 01:40 - United States

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year-old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 667

You deserved it 11 518

Whack-a-Mole

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 02:01

Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 293

By lawdy - 21/05/2017 20:00

Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 480

You deserved it 640

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 05:07 - New Zealand

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 810

You deserved it 12 124

Daddy's girl

By TooMuchForToLittle - 06/09/2021 11:00

Today, yet again, my 3 year-old daughter came home from a few hours with her father, screams and cries over everything, and when she realizes it won't get her anywhere, screams at me that she hates me and that she wants to go home. I calmly told her she is home, and she screamed, "This is not home!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 200

dolphincheddar 10

Friday 1 July 2011 23:26

don't mess with chuck Norris

WDLfootball 8

Friday 1 July 2011 23:40

Chuck Norris was born May 6,1945. The Nazis surrendered May 7, 1945. Coincidence? I think not.

Comments

NoobHat 6

Friday 1 July 2011 23:31

Lightning never strikes in the same place twice because it knows Chuck Norris is looking for it.

dolphincheddar 10

Friday 1 July 2011 23:32

did you pitch or catch?

zander2413 0

Friday 1 July 2011 23:33

I still wet the bed

HannahLouise96 13

Friday 1 July 2011 23:39

Congratulations?

zander2413 0

Friday 1 July 2011 23:46

don't be mean):

lmaoatall 6

Friday 1 July 2011 23:48

isn't this atleast your second time posting this? you must be so proud of yourself.

HannahLouise96 13

Friday 1 July 2011 23:49

I'm not being mean. I just find it bizarre that you feel the need to let everybody know via commenting on something completely irrelevant. And to be honest, I really don't wanna know whether you still wet the bed or not, keep that shit private please.

manbearpig7173 0

Friday 1 July 2011 23:33

*inserts chuck norris joke that we've all heard before*

Siji 0

Friday 1 July 2011 23:54

When Chuck Norris does a push-up he isn't really pushing himself up, he's pushing the Earth down. O_O

UltimateGIRness 16

Monday 18 June 2012 20:40

When Chuck Norris steps on a Lego,the Lego cries

that_band_nerd 22

Thursday 16 January 2014 5:26

If a zombie bites Chuck Norris he doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into him.

thewife5 19

Friday 1 July 2011 23:34

drug test her?

zwcs 4

Friday 1 July 2011 23:35

wow I'd call a Dr.... fml

imnotcraZ 0

Friday 1 July 2011 23:36

never mess with chuck Norris!!!

rvontr88 21

Friday 1 July 2011 23:36

that's beyond awesome!

HannahLouise96 13

Friday 1 July 2011 23:36

You know you're in some serious shit when Chuck Norris is after you. I suggest fleeing the country immediately.

kittykat1497 7

Friday 1 July 2011 23:40

it won't matter chuck Norris will find her anyways...FHL

kittykat1497 7

Friday 1 July 2011 23:40

it won't matter chuck Norris will find her anyways...FHL

KaylieBieber13 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 3:16

you can never escape chuck norris he will follow you....

ChucktheNorris 0

Sunday 24 July 2011 4:55

I will still find you

DocBastard 38

Friday 1 July 2011 23:37

Did you ever stop and think that she may be right, and that Chuck really IS coming to kill her, and that she needs a team of 50 ninjas to protect her? Maybe you should stop being so selfish and start thinking about someone else for a change.