Intimacy: Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have...

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 04:17 - Canada

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 303

You deserved it 12 208

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Same thing different taste

Oversharing

By Anonymous - 12/09/2020 02:03

Today, my daughter admitted she struggles to keep a boyfriend because as soon as she shares with them her kink of fucking guys with strap-ons and occasionally inserting other items into them, they flee. As a father, this was way more info about my daughter's sex life than I can handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 656

You deserved it 353

You what?

By unknown - 02/11/2013 21:10 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 533

You deserved it 6 904

By aprouddaddy - 04/12/2014 23:46 - France - Paris

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 835

You deserved it 6 587

Bad parenting tips

By Anonymous - 02/08/2022 10:00

Today, even though I don’t have a problem with my ex having sex, I do have a problem with her bringing dudes home, who then meet my kid, confusing him. My kid is 4 years-old asked me if the guy from yesterday was his daddy, or if I was his daddy, even though I visit him every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 194

Casey Anthony vibes

By NewMom - 01/09/2021 07:01

Today, I had to explain to my 20 year-old daughter why she can’t leave her infant son at the house on her own, while she goes out partying until 2 a.m. Her response was, “What? I’m supposed to miss the party to watch his ass?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 343

Sex Ed is broken

By asnolt - 24/05/2011 22:29 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 719

You deserved it 9 376

Big deal

By Like mother like daughter - 24/02/2015 22:25 - United States - Aurora

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 780

You deserved it 9 608

By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 507

You deserved it 2 898

Dumbasses

By Anonymous - 16/08/2013 21:05 - United States - Nevada

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read, "My mom's a total pedo," after which she mentioned the talk. Her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 508

You deserved it 6 348

Whoops

By Anonymous - 06/05/2021 07:01 - United Kingdom - Dewsbury

Today, I was asking my best friend to tell me all the boys she’d had sex with, because I thought she had slept with my boyfriend. She accidentally said my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 580

Comet_Candy 23

Wednesday 1 August 2012 12:00

Lovely daughter you have there, OP.

rockgirl7 2

Wednesday 1 August 2012 12:01

Oh my God. How old is she?

Comments

ultra_notorious 26

Wednesday 1 August 2012 14:38

being a parent is tough, feel bad for you

bakedbabe 8

Wednesday 1 August 2012 14:40

Don't feel bad daddy, many teenage girls are having sex!

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 1 August 2012 16:27

They're also doing drugs, shoplifting, committing armed robbery, etc. That doesn't mean he has to condone it or throw up his hands in dejected failure.

Amazingness2013 0

Wednesday 1 August 2012 16:56

And many teenage girls are getting pregnant because they can't be smart enough to be on the pill and use a condom when they are having sex!

conor12 5

Wednesday 1 August 2012 14:42

She is grounded for life right? If that was my daighter id turn my basement into a dungeon and keep her in it

galacticstorm 6

Wednesday 1 August 2012 14:43

That's quite a cumback

Cryptic17_fml 4

Wednesday 1 August 2012 14:50

That sir is a funny comment

llama612 27

Wednesday 1 August 2012 14:48

**** alert also bitch alert! If I was you I would ground her till she was 18 and home school her just to show her you don't take that kinda crap from her. Just sayin.