Health: Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday.... - FML

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 22:29 - Mexico - Mexico

Spicy

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 020

You deserved it 9 308

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 05:43 - Canada

Spicy

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 734

You deserved it 9 193

By sadgirl - 23/01/2009 16:52 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 917

You deserved it 56 267

What are you doing?

By Noname - 20/02/2009 05:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 409

You deserved it 19 394

By fuck my arse - 08/08/2013 22:15 - United Kingdom - Reading

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 505

You deserved it 19 561

By Sorry - 03/03/2010 16:22 - Canada

Spicy

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 843

You deserved it 7 848

By Damn - 05/06/2012 19:36 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Spicy

Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 607

You deserved it 7 942

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 790

You deserved it 5 496

By purrykitty - 23/04/2011 20:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 871

You deserved it 40 785

By SCARRED - 29/08/2014 20:15 - United States - Kansas City

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 781

You deserved it 7 594

By DuChaillu - 27/01/2010 07:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 177

You deserved it 27 860

Next

Top comments

flashback.miss 28

Friday 2 August 2013 5:33

That's sweet but next time why not a sensuous bath together or something equally as relaxing?

Saddyohh 13

Friday 2 August 2013 5:36

Don't wear panties... Problem solved.

Comments

michelleJ11 25

Friday 2 August 2013 10:16

Don't worry OP, A for effort :D I bet he appreciated you trying :)

emuexport 4

Friday 2 August 2013 10:56

Practice, PRACTICE PRACTICE !!!

Cazz91 21

Friday 2 August 2013 13:41

Those damn panties!

naiveprophet 15

Friday 2 August 2013 13:56

Bow chica wow--OW

angelitared 27

Friday 2 August 2013 14:03

Should of hired strippers!

buddy51 23

Friday 2 August 2013 14:19

OP- Hubby is going to expect stripping topped by serious personal injury as foreplay from now on!! You've set a high bar for sex as a life threatening sport for sure! Do you death grip his head with your thighs after he does oral too?

cookie1207 19

Friday 2 August 2013 16:25

Next time rehearse and stay fit!

icepick23 12

Friday 2 August 2013 16:53

Why not hire a younger, hotter stripper? He sees you nude every day!

imbedderdenu 23

Friday 2 August 2013 18:36

A for effort love! at least you gave is a heave hoe...better luck next time ;)

Spyfiction 6

Friday 2 August 2013 18:48

No panties! No problems!

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Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 276

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 855

You deserved it 4 564

The Top

Today, I had to write an essay for school explaining what motivates me to study. The more I tried to write it, the more I realized I've been wasting my time going back to school, and I never really wanted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 188

Today, I drove to my cousin's house so he could help me fix my broken tail light. On the way there, I got pulled over for having a broken tail light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 395

You deserved it 3 742

Today, I took off the training wheels of my niece's bike. I tried to show her how to ride it, but she told me to get off because I needed a "fat girl's bike." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 215

You deserved it 6 585

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me about the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 457

You deserved it 7 065

Today, my roommate's boyfriend told me he would be driving the several hours EVERY weekend to come see his girlfriend. As a couple, they are constantly all over each other, and can't seem to break out of the annoying baby talk voice. Plus, they like to kick me out of the room to do stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 397

You deserved it 5 762

Today, I submitted my application to a restaurant as a server. The manager, who is more than 30 years older than me, said he'd be calling me. He later texted me asking for a date instead of giving me a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 347

You deserved it 2 252