Animals: Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All... - FML

By Anonytard - 02/03/2014 22:38 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 706

You deserved it 15 130

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 287

You deserved it 14 263

By lacsmac2 - 01/11/2015 14:10 - Australia

Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a shoe to deal with it. Just as I jumped up to smush it, my idiot brother flicked the light off. I missed the spider, but it didn't miss my face as the impact caused it to fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 613

You deserved it 2 684

Spider-man

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 16:00

Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 1 321

By lexii - 05/05/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 742

You deserved it 30 886

By Anonymous - 13/11/2014 22:20 - United States

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 975

You deserved it 3 736

By Jesus - 27/09/2011 02:03 - Canada

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 261

You deserved it 31 999

By terrified - 09/08/2015 03:10 - United States - Forest City

Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 411

You deserved it 2 447

Leave spiders alone

By Anonymous - 01/01/2021 01:01 - United States - Atoka

Today, I took a stick lighter and used it to set a large spider on fire to kill it, as stepping on it could possibly release its babies if it were a momma. I ignited more than the spider, and had to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 1 926

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 321

You deserved it 7 652

By spiderwoman - 15/04/2011 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 299

You deserved it 32 193

Next

Top comments

boombangboi 3

Monday 3 March 2014 1:20

Time to leave and never return.

Jabberwockyy 13

Monday 3 March 2014 1:20

I hate spiders so that would creep me out so much.

Comments

appletreee 30

Monday 3 March 2014 1:47

Spiders creep me out FYL.

Wizardo 33

Monday 3 March 2014 1:47

Well guess it's time to go house shopping, claim insurance on this one after it mysteriously burns down.

thefmlcounter 1

Monday 3 March 2014 1:47

there's going to be a party in your mouth tonight

sonictardis 8

Monday 3 March 2014 1:51

That is not okay.

Alchemist_21 26

Monday 3 March 2014 1:57

DUDE, I HAVE DONE THE SAME THING! I didn't throw my shoe, but I tried to step on one to kill it, but it was in a three sided corner, so the pressure was just right to release the hundreds of spiderlings. FYL

mathen 9

Monday 3 March 2014 2:14

And I couldn't really understand the people wanting to join the one way mission to Mars...

x23bzrk 16

Monday 3 March 2014 2:15

I am so sorry

Sarcasm_Included 4

Monday 3 March 2014 2:19

I hate spiders but last summer I was on a camping trip and we were canoeing and I felt something on my leg ..... I looked down to see a five inch long centipede crawling up my leg .... needless to say I abandoned ship

JazNim17 18

Monday 3 March 2014 17:14

Ugh I'd actually prefer a spider over a centipede! I woke up at 3 one morning because I felt something moving inside my shirt....I jumped up and it stung me twice before I got it out. it was a HUGE centipede! I was so freaked out that I couldn't go back to bed. I still check my bed every night.

CeeCee_fml 16

Monday 3 March 2014 2:21

Nope.

FrankHotpants 31

Monday 3 March 2014 2:21

The logical thing to do here is burn the house down.

noatak 6

Monday 3 March 2014 2:28

Run and cry away.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Transportation Cars Embarrassing Work Mental health Awkward Relatable AITA Am I overreacting? Love Social Media Annoying Family Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist Health Cute Animals Dogs Sleep My ex Shopping Cats Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in The Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 648

You deserved it 8 222

Today, after years of training myself to crave healthier foods in order to lose weight, I found out that some of my favorite health foods actually aggravate my hypothyroidism, and indirectly reduce my metabolism. Broccoli and soybeans are making me fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 977

You deserved it 3 688

The Top

Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 298

You deserved it 4 288

Today, I got a parking ticket for $150. It seems it was issued by my husband, who apparently can't remember license plate numbers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 032

You deserved it 31 874

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 524

You deserved it 5 832

Today, after almost nine months of doing anything and everything to show my love for my girlfriend and make her happy, she told me she would give "anything" to relive the one week of her and her ex's relationship where she was the happiest in her life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 571

You deserved it 3 541

Today, I’ve been at my new house for a week. My new neighbour’s dog barks non-stop all day, and their newborn baby cries non-stop all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 123

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 376

You deserved it 9 778