Animals: Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All... - FML

By Anonytard - 02/03/2014 22:38 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 706

You deserved it 15 130

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Same thing different taste

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 287

You deserved it 14 263

By lacsmac2 - 01/11/2015 14:10 - Australia

Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a shoe to deal with it. Just as I jumped up to smush it, my idiot brother flicked the light off. I missed the spider, but it didn't miss my face as the impact caused it to fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 613

You deserved it 2 684

Spider-man

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 16:00

Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 1 321

By lexii - 05/05/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 742

You deserved it 30 886

By Anonymous - 13/11/2014 22:20 - United States

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 975

You deserved it 3 736

By Jesus - 27/09/2011 02:03 - Canada

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 261

You deserved it 31 999

By terrified - 09/08/2015 03:10 - United States - Forest City

Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 411

You deserved it 2 447

Leave spiders alone

By Anonymous - 01/01/2021 01:01 - United States - Atoka

Today, I took a stick lighter and used it to set a large spider on fire to kill it, as stepping on it could possibly release its babies if it were a momma. I ignited more than the spider, and had to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 1 926

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 321

You deserved it 7 652

By spiderwoman - 15/04/2011 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 299

You deserved it 32 193

Next

Top comments

boombangboi 3

Monday 3 March 2014 1:20

Time to leave and never return.

Jabberwockyy 13

Monday 3 March 2014 1:20

I hate spiders so that would creep me out so much.

Comments

__dream__killer_ 9

Monday 3 March 2014 3:49

I am crying for you

sirpantselot 22

Monday 3 March 2014 3:55

Honestly, who throws a shoe?

carterjanelle 9

Monday 3 March 2014 4:16

People who aren't trying to get close to the spider!

Bentonic 11

Monday 3 March 2014 4:18

And whoosh goes the reference, right over your head.

BunkBeds 9

Monday 3 March 2014 5:38

I love those movies!

Canyoudig_it 19

Monday 3 March 2014 4:04

Honestly, spiders are a great thing. They're what keep bug population under control. In my opinion, only poisonous spiders should be killed, and that's just because they're harmful to us.

sicksadworld1317 30

Monday 3 March 2014 4:18

Stress is harmful, and all spiders stress me out. Death to all arachnids.

squideth 18

Monday 3 March 2014 8:50

Spiders are venomous, but I totally agree with the rest of the comment. 80, people stress me out, guess I should start slaughtering them, too? Killing any life form mercilessly is not something to be proud of.

Merylwen 24

Monday 3 March 2014 21:14

Spiders are pest. I won't let them live in my house.

nevereyes 31

Tuesday 4 March 2014 1:54

168, that's like saying bees are a pest........ Both spiders and bees are needed and a huge part of a proper functioning ecosystem.

carterjanelle 9

Monday 3 March 2014 4:08

Omfggggg i have arachnophobia i would have fainted after running out of the house. F*ck your whole life.

Ben009 13

Monday 3 March 2014 4:09

Now I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight.

xOhItsMarleyy 9

Monday 3 March 2014 4:11

Well that Escalated quickly.

ericb982 8

Monday 3 March 2014 4:15

They will probably die prematurely. Focus on the big one first!!! :P

Vanshikap 24

Monday 3 March 2014 4:15

Thank you OP. i am going to have nightmares about this

Alchemist_21 26

Monday 3 March 2014 4:16

If only this worked on slot machines.

xXxPOOKSxXx 4

Monday 3 March 2014 4:20

That "oh shit" moment

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The Top

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 863

You deserved it 2 846

Today, my sister bought my five year-old son a giant ant farm for his birthday. We set it in the living room on a table. I went into the kitchen for a minute, and when I walked back in to the living room, my son was holding the empty case over his head, smiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 175

You deserved it 7 970

The Top

Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 668

You deserved it 47 000

Today, my sister and I were talking about our salaries. She just graduated from university and will start working soon. It turns out that she'll earn more money than me. I have been working for 4 years. However, my earnings are still less than those of a worker with no experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 222

Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 589

You deserved it 259

Today, I was greeting customers at work. After saying good morning to one man, he stopped and looked at me from head to toe before smirking and saying, "Mmmm." He then turned around and said, "It's starting." It's only my first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 223

You deserved it 2 764

Today, I was so exhausted that I took a quick nap on the floor of my classroom during one of my free periods. I must have turned off the alarm I set, because I was gently woken up to the giggles of a whole class of students. To make matters worse, I was lying in a big puddle of my own drool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 074

You deserved it 3 513

Today, I was at home and my boyfriend called me and said that I'd left my G-string at his house. I only have one G-string and I was wearing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 052

You deserved it 2 766