Miscellaneous: Today, I unclogged a toilet. With my hand. For the second time...

By handyjon - 01/03/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I unclogged a toilet. With my hand. For the second time this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 895

You deserved it 16 841

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Same thing different taste

Nice mental image

By Maggie - 17/03/2020 17:00

Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 341

Not all heroes…

By pooped - 12/04/2020 23:00

Today, at work, the only toilet in the building was so clogged that it was overflowing. We didn't have a plunger, so basically the only way to stop it was to try and reach in and remove the blockage. I was nominated to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 882

You deserved it 183

By Alisterine - 24/08/2014 17:31 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 230

You deserved it 14 627

By Anonymous - 19/05/2011 03:48 - United States

Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 886

You deserved it 24 109

By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 862

You deserved it 11 396

Ain't it funky

By Anonymous - 05/12/2011 00:40 - United States

Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 238

You deserved it 49 178

By Alex - 01/03/2019 16:00

Today, marks three weeks since I started my new dream job. It also marks the second time this week alone that I've clogged the toilet in the restroom. I'm almost 100% sure all my coworkers know it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 986

You deserved it 650

By gmian - 06/12/2015 05:06 - United States - Amherst

Today, at work, I used my foot to flush the toilet, lost my balance, and ended up catching myself with my foot in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 381

You deserved it 11 013

Pig in shit

By Anonymous - 18/10/2021 14:00

Today, after leaving for a two-week-trip, and thinking this time my mom would finally have no choice but to clean the dirty toilet herself for once, because I’ve been doing it the entire year, along with most other chores, I think you can guess what I did first thing upon my return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 145

By neednewshoes - 07/12/2017 01:30

Today, like every day, I flushed a public toilet with my foot. Today, unlike every day, my foot missed the handle and landed in the unflushed water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 439

You deserved it 5 004

lamargus 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 8:57

why? there is something called a plunger!

schwiggidy 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 8:57

try it with yor mouth next time

Comments

JustinThunder 8

Tuesday 1 March 2011 9:19

Maybe he wants his hand to smell like shit for a week.

emjay09 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 17:35

he (i'm assuming it's a guy because no girl on earth would do this) should have bought a plunger to fix it the first time.

dreamer1015 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 9:25

I literally just gagged. Why would you do that?

convictconnie 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 9:26

get a ******* plunger

iranoutofnames 6

Tuesday 1 March 2011 9:43

a fantastic idea!

funktown 2

Tuesday 1 March 2011 9:29

lol wat a self induced FML. no sympathy from me my friend.

stayfaded 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 9:29

EEeeew >.< lol that sucks

iranoutofnames 6

Tuesday 1 March 2011 9:31

how many people are willing to bet that OP did this in the first place JUST so he or she can post it up here?

marmots 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 9:34

Someone needs to take a trip to home hardware...

YayaInLalaLand 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 9:49

Ever heard of a plunger? XD

jennabell 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 10:00

my dog eats his poop when it doesn't fully digest

rockefoe 6

Tuesday 1 March 2011 10:02

GET A PLUNGER!!!

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The Top

Today, I have an HR meeting to discuss my team's performance. This is the same HR that refuses to hire more people because my department is full. The same HR that complains when tasks are completed late due to the team being overworked, yet refuses to take any suggestions. How do you give feedback to people like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 76

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 491

You deserved it 3 817

The Top

Today, I'm a significant grower not a shower, so when not erect to 7 inches my penis really does resemble a cocktail sausage. So far my girlfriend hadn’t seen it soft but today she whipped my boxers down while I was asleep. The phrase, "Oh my god! What happened to it?" is now forever etched in my brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 121

Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 172

You deserved it 2 551

Today, I was volunteering at a gift-wrapping booth to raise money for autism, and helping others takes my mind off the fact that my mom died at Christmas. While carefully wrapping a present, offering bows, ribbons, and a gift tag, a snobby bitch said to me, "You're not doing a very good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 138

You deserved it 2 141

Today, I noticed my new neighbor had taken the liberty of putting up signs all around their lawn overnight. There are at least a dozen signs detailing the various reasons everyone on the planet is condemned to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 399

You deserved it 3 126

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied, "Oh, I usually come early." She laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 328

You deserved it 33 942

Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 794

You deserved it 2 308