Health: Today, I visited my new doctor for the migraines I've been getting...

By davav74 - 15/06/2012 23:31 - United Kingdom - Ely

Today, I visited my new doctor for the migraines I've been getting lately. Right from the start, I could have sworn the guy was on drugs. He just listened to my heartbeat, said, "Well Dave, it sounds like gallstones" and said they'll pass naturally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 679

You deserved it 1 935

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Same thing different taste

Charlatans

By freakofnature - 31/03/2012 16:17 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I visited my new doctor, hoping that he would be able to figure out the cause of the pains I've been having for years. He told me there's nothing he can do, that half the drugs out there cause cancer anyway and that I should look into homeopathy. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 629

You deserved it 2 400

Don't get high on your own supply

By jarv49 - 16/03/2012 17:24 - Australia

Today, I saw my doc about the painful swelling I've had in my arm all week. He seemed totally out of it, and ended up telling me it's all in my head, despite the swelling. When I respectfully suggested it might be a blood issue, he just said, "Nah". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 397

You deserved it 2 441

By louie - 31/01/2012 20:17 - United States

Today, I went to see a doctor about some of the memory problems I've been having. After the appointment, I could barely remember a thing he told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 120

You deserved it 3 200

Quack

By Anonymous - 25/03/2016 03:14 - New Zealand - Takanini

Today, I went to the doctor's after over a week of feeling extremely tired and having headaches. His advice? "When I'm tired I drink coffee. You should drink coffee." Somehow, I don't think that was worth $60. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 701

You deserved it 1 591

Hazmat suit time

By Anonymous - 03/05/2023 13:00 - Kenya - Nairobi

Today, I went to the doctor because I felt sick. He told me to describe the symptoms I had. With every new symptom I described, he took a step back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 131

Lobbied

By not taking those! - 06/10/2020 23:07 - United States

Today, I called my insurance company begging for a new doctor. All my current one does is prescribe antidepressants for everything. Migraines? AD! Dizziness? AD! Birth control? AD! I’ve been having rough periods and I’m pretty sure she’s just trying to push pills to bill us more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288

You deserved it 89

Creepy nevertheless

By humdrummitydrum - 19/08/2014 20:46 - United States

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 224

You deserved it 6 680

Headfucked

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 17:00

Today, after two weeks of migraines, my doctor informed me that bowel movements are one my triggers. This means every time I shit, I will have a headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 885

You deserved it 106

What a headache

By heckinfrick - 08/10/2020 08:01

Today, it was the day of the doctor's appointment that I've been waiting for for eight months. I woke up with a fever and had to reschedule. The next appointment is next year. Guess I have to put up with my daily migraines until 2021. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 256

By sad child - 27/08/2011 07:45 - United States

Today, I went to my doctor for a check-up. It started with the doctor lifting my shirt up to check my heartbeat, and ended with my gran starting a fistfight over his "perverted ways." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 759

You deserved it 2 704

KittyJay 3

Saturday 16 June 2012 5:25

Sounds legit to me O_o

me234 7

Saturday 16 June 2012 5:25

Time for a new doctor.

Comments

babe7260 30

Saturday 16 June 2012 6:23

Omg are you FREAKING kidding me?? Did he receive his medical degree from a Cracker Jack Box??? I hope you ran out ( without paying) before he started describing his colorful hallucinations to you!!!!! Ask around & find a GOOD dr!!!! Good Luck Man!!!!

babe7260 30

Saturday 16 June 2012 6:28

Btw what a ******* moron!!!!!

barlessprison 16

Saturday 16 June 2012 6:55

You need to calm your ****.

kirstyndwatson 0

Saturday 16 June 2012 6:48

Hey good news is you might get a scrip pad I'n exchange for some of that crack he's smoking haha:) just kidding drugs are bad. Find a new doctor that isn't going to think your a blue smurf when he looks at you from all the drugs that lunatics on.

Redditions 0

Saturday 16 June 2012 6:58

I didn't know your doctor was House!

psuedoanon 2

Saturday 16 June 2012 6:35

Excedrin migraine. That will be 600 dollars... I accept PayPal only.

Megan98 18

Saturday 16 June 2012 6:34

This reminds me so much of the picture that says "I'm not a gynecologist but I'll take a look".

momo1972 3

Saturday 16 June 2012 7:27

Wow, money well spent on his education huh

Max1468 4

Saturday 16 June 2012 19:02

Altaiiiirrrrrrrr.

HeartOfLead 24

Saturday 16 June 2012 7:13

Your doctor clearly knew what he was doing. If you would've asked him what gallstones have to do with migraines, he would have told you that it is common knowledge that gallstones spelled backwards is Senotsllag backwards. And Senotsllag is Dutch for malatete (mal-a-tete). Malatete is french for Ocetebrus. Ocetebrus is Greek for halaiahumblahblah, which is Latin for Migraine Brain Box. This is all simply fancy talk for the thing that will periodically cause a migraine. Your doctor knew his background information and told you that it will pass because everyone knows migraines are periodical. Simple as that, you're welcome.