Intimacy: Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing...

By pumpkinlover89 - 27/03/2010 08:26 - United States

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 376

You deserved it 10 447

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Same thing different taste

By Notaplacetogo - 17/02/2013 06:45 - United States - Walnut Creek

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 671

You deserved it 10 119

It's sus

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 09:01 - New Zealand

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 140

You deserved it 10 355

By Mary - 04/12/2011 22:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 022

You deserved it 4 100

Holes

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 00:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 949

You deserved it 5 421

By Rosie - 13/06/2012 16:07 - Germany - Wesel

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 384

You deserved it 5 246

By frustrated - 17/08/2013 22:56 - Ireland - Killarney

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 146

You deserved it 7 411

By TheThirdWheel - 23/04/2018 05:00

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 2 years and my best friend of 10 years making out in my bedroom. I stared and when they noticed me, my boyfriend didn’t even bat an eye and suggested we have a threesome. My best friend immediately agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 368

You deserved it 678

That's that, then

By Anonymous - 12/09/2020 08:02

Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 591

You deserved it 210

By leeceetaylor99 - 15/07/2013 16:47 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 883

You deserved it 3 896

By Anonymous - 28/08/2011 06:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 064

You deserved it 6 377

matt1337c 0

Saturday 27 March 2010 15:08

They're so gay. Was it hot?

0671241409 0

Saturday 27 March 2010 15:52

wait u said ur boyfriend and his best friend..... don't you mean ex boyfriend and his new boyfriend

Comments

supremelyf_ed 0

Saturday 27 March 2010 16:48

I'm not sure which aspect of this FML is more gay, the dick fighting or the glow in the dark condoms. Oh well, in any case FYL.

campbellshayla73 0

Saturday 27 March 2010 16:49

wow wtf

FadingLoveLetter 0

Saturday 27 March 2010 16:50

sounds like an excuse, "oh no honey, it's not what you think... ummmm you know... we're just playing ... DICK WARS... duh" -nervous laugh-

amazingjane 0

Saturday 27 March 2010 16:52

that sounds like gay **** for nerds.

gabbyrahwr 0

Saturday 27 March 2010 17:00

i would suggest jumping in and joining the fun.

ohSNAPyall 26

Saturday 27 March 2010 17:00

Why would a straight guy teabag another guy?

m0oc0w14 0

Saturday 27 March 2010 17:00

that is so funny.

imahappeemoocow 0

Saturday 27 March 2010 17:03

oh my god awesome!!!

trumpetGIRL12345 0

Saturday 27 March 2010 17:04

at least he had a condum on? and at least it glowed in the dark and did he win

bambam22608 0

Saturday 27 March 2010 17:04

thts hot lol

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 32 698

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 975

You deserved it 10 760

The Top

Today, I was told what a bitch I am for turning down “the nice guy” after he surprised me with flowers and a hand painted portrait. He conveniently left out the part where he texted me multiple creepy porn links, doesn’t brush his teeth and has the personal hygiene of a farm animal! FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 128

You deserved it 409

Today, I got into a car accident. The other driver was going so fast that when we hit, our cars positioned themselves to make it look like it was all my fault. He keeps blaming me for everything and the position of the cars doesn't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 704

You deserved it 1 499

Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 823

You deserved it 8 956

Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 197

You deserved it 7 370

Today, my man complained about having to listen to my "emotional problems for hours." Yeah, we did talk for two hours, 90% of which was him asking for my advice on which new mattress to buy for his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 141

Today, I realized my father-in-law is basically Ron Swanson, when at a barbecue he ate some of my daughter's vegan sausages by mistake. When I told him they were vegan, he went to the bathroom, forced himself to throw them up, then sat and demolished 4 burgers, 8 sausages, and 6 chicken thighs, "LIKE A REAL MAN!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 247

Same thing different taste

It's sus

Holes

That's that, then

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