By Creepedout - 25/06/2013 01:27 - United States - Clearwater

Spicy
Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML
I agree, your life sucks 67 211
You deserved it 4 686
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Comments

Pleonasm 35

He said he would be "All in," and he even invited his poker friend over for a "three of a kind." His friend of course called him on that, and revealed that it was going to be a "full house" in her.

106 6
Ambient25 24

sounds like everyone has an Ace up their sleeves

35 2
Wizardo 33

Sounds like he was going to do a 'Royal Flush' in her. Sounds like OP got dealt a bad hand with his dad.

36 2
kriz_allizwell 6

Poker face. Poker face. He wanna poke her face.

3 20
football98_fml 20

well you are dating her, so guess you guys are both safe

9 60
feelingold 18

Ahem, what 40-50 year old man doesn't occasionally let his mind drift toward the babysitter/ son's girlfriend/ neighbor's daughter? Though discussing it showed a major lack of respect..

38 6
nurchok 15

On the other hand, he basically commented on her beauty. But I agree, FYL

2 18
deepunder 17

Maybe he wants you to move out with her, instead of having a full house

6 41
robotiick7 23

For the people who thumbs him down and don't understand ass is another word for donkey so he just switched em

4 38
Pwn17 25

Ok, ass isn't such a bad word, but if he really wanted to get that point across without swearing, he should have used a synonym for the insult (like jerk or something). Calling someone a donkey is just... strange.

12 27
mazzera_fml 7

Actually its a poker term for a bad player

52 1
Pwn17 25

Oh.. Sorry, I'm not familiar with poker :p Well I feel stupid now.

25 5
Wizardo 33

OPs dad said he's going shag his sons gf, if she wasn't his gf. It clearly says this in the FML...

36 2
perdix 29

#13, did I have to spell out "poke her?"

36 5
TheDrifter 23

Yup. Liquor in the front, poker in the rear.

28 2
perdix 29

#31, haha, that phrase crossed my mind, too, but I was gunning to post the Second-Best One-Word Comment of All-Time (imma let you finish). First place is a tie for every time that "YOLO" has been the perfect comment. :D

6 5
TheDrifter 23

Lofty goal, trying to beat out "ouch", "damn" and the venerable "ermahgerd".

10 1
perdix 29

#41, WTF is an abbreviation, not an acronym. I learned from the late, great George Carlin that an acronym is an abbreviation you can pronounce as a word. The way he put it was: "The IRS, CIA and FBI are not acronyms. They're just pricks." RIP, George!

19 2