Miscellaneous: Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got... - FML

By vanorav - 18/03/2012 02:41 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 579

You deserved it 2 250

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 667

You deserved it 2 777

Family values

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 04:55 - United States

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 236

You deserved it 5 383

By AmberHavoc - 02/01/2013 15:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 998

You deserved it 46 803

By babyeaternomnom - 30/06/2012 16:22 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 889

You deserved it 2 326

By oneloveliz - 17/09/2017 23:15

Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 473

You deserved it 1 572

There goes the neighborhood…

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 11:00

Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 67

By LovelySB - 21/04/2019 04:00

Today, while trying to get over all the emotional things I've been going through, I forgot that my bedroom door was open and here my silly behind was dancing in my underwear while my roommate watched on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 608

You deserved it 718

By MakesMeLol - 18/01/2012 22:30 - Ireland

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 288

You deserved it 6 785

By adam - 03/02/2010 20:10 - France

Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 085

You deserved it 40 684

By Sprinkles - 04/02/2015 07:44 - Australia

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 896

You deserved it 2 729

Next

Top comments

pdp_fml 21

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:18

You should just go back to bed.

supimnyancat 9

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:21

Did you join him?

Comments

kittenvks 11

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:59

Just stopping by to point out that no fence is mentioned... Could have walked... Or hopped, you know, it's whatever :)

bosu_no_youna 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 10:13

That mental image...

sarahlouise0506 10

Sunday 18 March 2012 10:24

Helicopter helicopter..

ilulife 4

Sunday 18 March 2012 10:28

Drunk people can do anything.

Calyx_fml 21

Sunday 18 March 2012 10:37

Drunk in the morning. Your neighbor's on the spiral downward.

ArentWeAll 4

Sunday 18 March 2012 10:57

Darn. I saw it on the news too. Some guy called Russel right? Something about kony 12?

jojoboy 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 11:00

Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah!

stronghand0331 17

Sunday 18 March 2012 16:03

Ay girl lookit dat body

sparkrok 8

Sunday 18 March 2012 11:06

like piss on you porch.

anencephalic 14

Sunday 18 March 2012 11:13

I suggest you repay the favour, tomorrow morning.

frizbycatch 7

Sunday 18 March 2012 11:18

'It's moments like these, you need Minties!' >_

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8

Keywords

Shoes Miscellaneous Clothes Relatable Insurance Cars Transportation Health Work Love Cheating Clumsy Embarrassing Awkward Food Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Dogs Cute Pranks Ironic Shopping Texting Mistakes Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, I saw a Tesla truck in my rear-view mirror and thought, "Oh, look how cool the front looks!" Five seconds later it rear-ended me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 167

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 787

You deserved it 22 726

The Top

Today, in a store, an obnoxious woman, swearing loudly and slapping at her out-of-control kids, was disrupting the whole place. I said to the cashier, "That nasty woman should leave the brats at home." She gave me a filthy look and said, "Do you mind? That's my sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 871

You deserved it 19 854

Today, I saw my neighbors having sex. They’re not great looking and bang like pornstars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 831

Today, I woke up to find my fiancé in the pool with a topless woman he had told me "not to worry about". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 999

You deserved it 396

Today, I found out what getting slapped in the face with lettuce feels like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 731

You deserved it 7 730

Today, I felt the urge to sneeze, so out of instinct I looked away from the computer and sneezed to my left. The rotating fan was blowing at my direction at that moment, so I just sneezed on my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 891

You deserved it 13 485

Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 482

You deserved it 3 574