Intimacy: Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss...

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 17:39 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 648

You deserved it 2 341

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Same thing different taste

By Dhagiik - 24/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Oak Park

Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 183

You deserved it 1 145

By Sleeper_C3ll - 04/02/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 119

You deserved it 2 878

By teaspoonzz - 25/10/2017 15:00

Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 640

You deserved it 289

Wanker

By Sandman2015 - 29/01/2016 18:36 - United States - American Fork

Today, I walked in on one of my co-workers jerking off in the bathroom, complete with heavy breathing and victory groans. I don't want to go to HR, but I can't even look at him anymore. We have to work on a project together next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 366

You deserved it 1 928

Skill issue

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 695

You deserved it 1 914

Promoted!

By Worst Way To Get Promoted - 25/09/2019 16:00

Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 031

You deserved it 163

Wanker

By fired - 09/08/2013 22:17

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 257

You deserved it 7 487

Not now, mate

By yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 614

You deserved it 4 741

By Walk of Shame - 13/11/2018 22:00

Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 6 030

By OhGodWhy - 29/12/2016 23:30 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 763

You deserved it 885

MolesterStallone 13

Wednesday 22 August 2012 0:08

Sounds like he was doing his own performance assessment!

Icejza_DaChilla 7

Wednesday 22 August 2012 0:09

*sniff sniff* What's that smell..? It smells like blackmail to me!

Comments

erinchick1 7

Wednesday 22 August 2012 15:35

Tell him you want a promotion AND a raise or you'll tell everyone at work what he does in the bathroom.

FreeDrawn 7

Wednesday 22 August 2012 16:34

it's said to get rid of stress!

athos1237 4

Wednesday 22 August 2012 16:45

You could have offered to help to get a bigger raise. IJS

noisebox 1

Wednesday 22 August 2012 17:18

Better not shake hands.....

Shamus951 2

Wednesday 22 August 2012 17:55

Don't shake his hand!

rammy125 4

Wednesday 22 August 2012 18:09

You should have locked the door behind you and offered to help him finish. He already had a raise, it's time you earned yours

Equin0x 0

Wednesday 22 August 2012 18:43

Payrise or promotion for you then!

BubbaWallace50 0

Wednesday 22 August 2012 19:57

Don't shake his hand!

AwesomeSkySky 1

Wednesday 22 August 2012 21:28

Take a picture, and blackmail him. Just saying

Dravite 9

Wednesday 22 August 2012 21:44

Blackmail Time... alright!

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The Top

Today, I was at a party. A friend and I went to the bathroom together. She finished, I started to go, realising I need to shit. She was still in the room. People began to knock. My brain told me to snap the shit in half… with my hand. I grabbed the toilet paper with said hand, leaving the bathroom covered in shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 1 195

Today, my Facebook was hacked. The hacker messaged all my online friends, explaining that "I" was overseas, had run out of money and needed help. Not one person cared enough to respond. I guess the hacker picked the wrong target. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 397

You deserved it 5 121

The Top

Today, I became the senior receptionist at my job, which is supposed to have three receptionists. The others all had life changes, so they're moving on, which is fair, but now I have to train new people. I've been here three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 106

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for saying "It's a stab in the dark, though." According to him, it's a euphemism for anal sex and I was being offensive to a gay colleague, the same one who kept insisting it was no problem. I got written up anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 530

You deserved it 2 471

Today, I blew out the dust from my GPU, and when I went to reinstall it, it turned out that I had inadvertently shorted something and now it's dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 237

Today, my doctor told me I should consider a breast reduction. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 879

You deserved it 13 543

Today, I called the cops on my neighbor's millionth extremely loud alcoholic party. Music stopped before the cop showed up and resumed 10 minutes later. It's 1:30am and still going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 295

You deserved it 757

Today, after my first day at work at a local daycare, I found out that I'm not entitled to breaks because I'm the only worker there who doesn't smoke. My boss asked me, ''What do you need a break for?'' FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 978

You deserved it 2 982

Same thing different taste

Wanker

Skill issue

Promoted!

Wanker

Not now, mate

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