Miscellaneous: Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to...

By bpruitt95 - 31/12/2012 06:46 - United States - Pitkin

Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 484

You deserved it 3 432

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Fingered

By Anonymous - 13/04/2024 21:00 - United States

Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 108

By notarobber - 15/05/2013 07:20 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 713

You deserved it 10 115

By demispark - 24/04/2013 14:10 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I was leaving work when I realized I had forgotten my bag on my desk. As I went back to get it, I overheard my co-workers talking about "last night's office party." I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 306

You deserved it 4 851

Busted

By DuckMan - 07/10/2017 23:15

Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 2 679

By JohnFarrell - 24/04/2009 17:20 - United States

Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 526

You deserved it 66 025

By fuck you, Jeff - 25/04/2014 23:45 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was out drinking with some colleagues, when one started ranting about some pretty sensitive subjects. There were some Latino guys nearby, and as soon as he said "I'm not racist, but..." I tried to casually get the hell out of there. We all got the crap beaten out of us anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 590

You deserved it 6 891

By Shuttie - 18/01/2013 12:55 - Denmark - Odense

Today, I was walking towards a party where I knew my cheating ex would be. I passionately rehearsed how I would have a go at him big time when I met him. Guess who was walking right behind me and heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 589

You deserved it 43 608

By grenade - 17/07/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 021

You deserved it 7 905

By ramis182 - 27/03/2012 00:17 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 586

You deserved it 4 671

Crusin' for a bruisin'

By burr415 - 20/04/2012 22:55 - Sweden - Hägersten

Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 660

You deserved it 26 442

pradip 26

Monday 31 December 2012 11:57

Since everyone was drunk, remove the black jacket and pretend like someone else.

kakarot2 11

Monday 31 December 2012 12:02

Ask your neighboring drunk buddy and tell him he looks cold and that you feel like being nice and let him borrow your jacket.

Comments

leadwithlove 1

Monday 31 December 2012 14:28

Boondocks saints!!! Favorite movie!

poccocurantes 7

Monday 31 December 2012 17:10

What is it with Boondocks Saints? I watched it last night and now it's turning up everywhere.

bluevayero 42

Monday 31 December 2012 14:51

so how is your ass now?

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 31 December 2012 15:03

Run forest, RUN!

reallycooldude 10

Monday 31 December 2012 15:38

"Today, someone wanted to beat me up." This gets the approval of the moderators?

onorexveritas 23

Monday 31 December 2012 15:41

wait for it.

broncos67 9

Monday 31 December 2012 15:44

Probably did something to deserve it

KaiCer0 8

Monday 31 December 2012 16:58

Run forest ruuun!

poccocurantes 7

Monday 31 December 2012 17:16

ignore it. Probably wasnt talking about you anyway. If he confronts you, then you can find out what his problem is and talk it out. If you can't talk it out at least he has had time to drink more and you should have slowed down so you can beat his sloppy ass.