Miscellaneous: Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his...

By Anonymous - 20/09/2009 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 084

You deserved it 6 601

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Same thing different taste

By muddled - 02/05/2012 06:16 - United States - Joliet

Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 909

You deserved it 5 138

By kaleigh - 31/05/2011 17:01 - United States

Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 809

You deserved it 10 197

By Anonymous - 06/06/2013 16:32 - Senegal

Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 709

You deserved it 11 762

Whoops

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 01:29 - United States

Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friend and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 643

You deserved it 4 111

Caught in the act

By Anonymous - 12/08/2021 14:01

Today, I went to a party and saw my current boyfriend making out with my ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 136

By Anonymous - 01/05/2009 11:36 - United States

Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 020

You deserved it 5 368

Surprise

By iamnotfat - 06/02/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 802

You deserved it 4 500

Join the club

By Anonymous - 15/12/2023 17:00 - United States - Uvalde

Today, I was at dinner with my boyfriend. About 30 minutes into dinner and I see my exes come in, one by one. In the end, they were all sitting at the same table. My boyfriend got up and went to the bathroom. He came back and sat down with them. Apparently my boyfriend went through my phone and called all of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 622

You deserved it 223

By Anonymous - 23/01/2017 20:00

Today, I met my boyfriend's entire extended family at a party. All of them, including his dad, said I looked exactly like his mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 971

You deserved it 480

Classic

By Anonymous - 05/07/2021 01:59

Today, my boyfriend introduced me as a friend to one of his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 130

mewzik 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 16:07

that could be seen as complimentary...

jgupta86 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 16:55

Why dont you stop being so melon-dramatic! Bahahahaha.... .... ... .... .... ... Im sorry, the temptation was just too much

Comments

Xx_f_us_all 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 20:29

win lol

juneping 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 20:35

why this is a FML?? you should be flattered.

BadOwner 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 21:23

pics or its fake

KaylaMLR 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 21:25

Whys this bad? You got big ****, good for you :)

nuttinick 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 21:59

where the big?

Atara223 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 22:00

Just how the hell did this make it past the mods?

Xx_f_us_all 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 22:03

113, they were distracted by her enormous hooters lol

btwilysfm 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 22:04

um okay... WTF. you're offended because they think you have nice boobs? WOW. most girls would take that as a compliment. just sayin...

NorfolkDude 2

Sunday 20 September 2009 22:27

Obviously you never hear guys talking. Guys talk about that stuff all the freaking time!

plexico 3

Sunday 20 September 2009 22:32

If you had gotten there two minutes later, you'd have seen him holding a dead fish over his crotch.

littlexlion 4

Monday 21 September 2009 2:57

lol! I think that comment just made my night. Thank you.

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The Top

Today, I had my third threesome with my fiancée and our friend. We are moving in together and I don't know what to do anymore. I can't stop thinking about her lips against mine, or how she feels when we fuck. I wish I had met her first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 928

Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate vacuuming at 7 a.m. I was annoyed because I had stayed up late, but then I realized she was vacuuming in the kitchen… at 7 a.m. because the broom "wasn't powerful enough." I gave her the benefit of the doubt until she started vacuuming my bedroom floor while I was still in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 87

The Top

Today, my brat of a coworker tried to convince our boss that I should get paid half of what I'm making because I broke my right arm. I'm left-handed, broke it on the job, and still doing a better job than her. She makes double what I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 893

You deserved it 859

Today, the director of the library was introducing me to the new HR person. She told the HR person that I'd been working here for 5 years. Actually, I've been working here for 19 years, and had been working here for 3 years before she got hired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 53

Today, I accepted an internship in Chicago and finished my final exams. I decided to play some pick up basketball one last time before summer. Within 2 minutes I got undercut going for a rebound and shattered my knee cap into 3 pieces. My summer in Chicago will be spent in a full leg cast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 384

You deserved it 4 232

Today, was my high school's senior awards ceremony. Over 400 people were crammed in the hot auditorium. I won five awards and each time I was called up the laughter grew louder. Apparently even the back row could see my pit stains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 617

You deserved it 5 363

Today, mine and my boyfriend's concerns that we are too loud in bed were definitely confirmed when his entire family stopped the movie they were watching and vacated the cinema room located directly below us. They returned and resumed a while after we were finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 902

You deserved it 36 834

Today, I told my mom that I'd vomited blood. She simply said, “Good” and went back to watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 114