Animals: Today, I was at a zoo with some friends in Germany. People were...

By bird-brain - 21/11/2009 12:19 - Germany

Today, I was at a zoo with some friends in Germany. People were talking to this bird and it responded in complete, grammatically correct German sentences. One of my friends said 'Wow, that bird has better grammar than the exchange student!' A bird speaks better German than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 452

You deserved it 5 151

Halloween: Terror and Laughter
Discover stories that combine fright and humor for an unforgettably funny Halloween. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/03/2013 10:43 - United States - Kalamazoo

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 345

You deserved it 21 823

Back home

By Anonymous - 30/12/2012 19:21 - Germany - Neunkirchen

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 045

You deserved it 5 367

By Jan - 27/02/2013 04:50 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 288

You deserved it 4 324

By dunicha - 17/11/2011 00:37 - United States

Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 374

You deserved it 38 321

Good riddance

By Anonymous - 05/02/2023 16:00

Today, after receiving yet again a dozen insulting texts, I realized that my dog has way better grammar than my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 157

What did you say?

By What? - 22/01/2013 19:00 - Australia

Today, I found out my ten year-old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 656

You deserved it 4 110

Moving on

By Awesome - 17/08/2011 00:05

Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 979

You deserved it 2 802

By traveling - 09/07/2013 11:18

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 978

You deserved it 6 415

By Anonymous - 01/10/2013 07:30 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 338

You deserved it 4 496

By nullroute - 16/02/2016 11:34 - Switzerland

Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 145

You deserved it 2 812

designerskyline 0

Saturday 21 November 2009 20:44

Well German isn't your native language, so obviously.

Icantfindmymommy 0

Saturday 21 November 2009 20:46

Haha no the bird just copies people it doesn't speak on it's own like you hve to. Good for you tho that you do know any German at all I suck at Spanish.

Comments

blland 0

Saturday 21 November 2009 22:29

All you need to know in Germany is "noch ein bier bitte".

hawkloverr 0

Saturday 21 November 2009 22:30

well, its a native and you're not.

Laurasian 0

Saturday 21 November 2009 22:41

Well you don't talk English too good either.

spacebar1 0

Saturday 21 November 2009 22:55

And your English is SO good! It's "Well, you don't SPEAK English too WELL either."

Laurasian 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 0:31

Uh....yeah, that was the point, smartass.

MNSam86 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 1:50

so well* too well would be incorrect. laurasian was too generous in calling you SMARTass.

LilaBear 1

Sunday 22 November 2009 6:02

actually, "too well" is just as acceptable as "so well".

imakepurplesnow 0

Saturday 21 November 2009 23:30

maybe the bird can tutor you.

1337_RoXxXor 4

Saturday 21 November 2009 23:54

Well, no reason to be depressed German is quite a hard language to learn if it isn't your first language. And the bird was probably just trained to respond.

edgeofhysteria 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 0:10

Birds imitate sounds, they don't know grammar. Your friend's an idiot. And really, if German wasn't my first language, I'd be having quite a hard time learning it, too. Seriously, don't feel bad about it.