Animals: Today, I was at my friends house for the first time in months....

By GreatAim - 23/09/2009 05:55 - United States

Today, I was at my friends house for the first time in months. I saw her newest chihuahua dog, Mickey, and he was excited that new people were over. I picked him up and slightly bounced him in the air. Because of the bounce and his excitement, he peed a little bit, straight into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 209

You deserved it 34 125

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By Josh - 16/07/2021 06:01 - United States

Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 342

You deserved it 170

By Anonymous - 26/02/2017 19:00 - United States - Shreveport

Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 751

You deserved it 2 025

By JohnMackSquirts - 19/03/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 974

You deserved it 115 411

By lean_mean_meme_machine - 10/12/2016 19:07 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was visiting my grandma who has a beagle named Max. He was so excited to see me, he jumped on my face and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 396

You deserved it 696

By Anonymousagb - 24/04/2009 15:18 - United Arab Emirates

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 964

You deserved it 92 171

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 475

You deserved it 5 305

By killjoyx - 23/07/2015 18:28 - United States - Suffolk

Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 805

You deserved it 3 190

Soggy

By ninjapup - 02/01/2010 04:40 - Canada

Today, I was at a party, chatting up this guy while we were petting my friends dog. The dog had just been outside and was kinda wet, I assumed it was raining out. Just then someone came up and said "Um, that dog's covered in pee." Apparently someone peed off the deck onto the dog as it walked by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 136

You deserved it 2 981

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 135

You deserved it 630

By Anonymous - 09/08/2018 20:30

Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 3 371

MiniatureMayhem 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 12:41

Chihuahuas tend to do that.

that_guy321 2

Wednesday 23 September 2009 14:03

you, my good sir/ma'am, fail miserably

Comments

KirstieeJadee 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 14:48

be happy it didn't piss in your mouth. YDI, that's why you don't hold dogs near your face.

Tsukasa_fml 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 0:08

I think having the dog pee in your eye would actually be worse than in your mouth. Ouch! And eww! And much harder to rinse out!

bonskaffa 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 15:17

haha, chihuaha's

swimmin234 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 15:35

ewwww thats so gross hopefully u rised out ur eye good

blah123blah 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 15:59

Errr... I don't think that was piss.. And he jizzed, in, your eye.

gigi37 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 16:22

How high did you "bounce" this dog that it could hit your eye?

geppy 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 17:24

FYL, but also: YDI. Small breed dogs tend to do that when they get excited.

iFruit 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 17:39

So, which dog breed is the best?

XDNurse 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 7:09

wolf hound

Sneaky_Snake44 4

Thursday 24 September 2015 20:46

Pit bull

lives_ppl 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 17:44

Excitement, eh? You sure it's pee and not ****?

faisal344 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 18:40

YDI i wudve done that if i was a dog :3

f_alltheirlives 3

Wednesday 23 September 2009 19:02

Guess you dropped him then?

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Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

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Today, I accidently accepted a lunch invitation from an old friend, because I forgot what they're like. Here comes another hour and a half monologue about how great they are. FML

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Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 420

You deserved it 8 484

Today, I was drying my duvet and pillows in the dryer. Apparently, one of the pillows was memory foam, which I was not aware of. It caught on fire due to the heat and nearly burned down my laundry room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 833

Today, I bought my boyfriend two concert tickets (of our favorite band) for his birthday. I was expecting him to bring me since I gave them to him and I like the band too. He said, "Sweet, thanks, I'll call my friend now and see if he wants to go. Think you could give us a ride?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 039

You deserved it 6 020

Today, after dating the love of my life for a year, my parents refuse to give their blessing for us to be engaged, because he's two years younger than me and "people change as they age." FML

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You deserved it 4 394

Today, I told my wife I walked away from a £5000 bet I had a good chance at winning, because I refused to embarrass myself in public. She responded with a Star Trek reference, "Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack, rule of acquisition 109." My god, I married a heartless nerd. FML

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You deserved it 1 227

Same thing different taste

Social science

Soggy

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