Animals: Today, I was at my friends house for the first time in months....

By GreatAim - 23/09/2009 05:55 - United States

Today, I was at my friends house for the first time in months. I saw her newest chihuahua dog, Mickey, and he was excited that new people were over. I picked him up and slightly bounced him in the air. Because of the bounce and his excitement, he peed a little bit, straight into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 209

You deserved it 34 125

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Social science

By Josh - 16/07/2021 06:01 - United States

Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 342

You deserved it 170

By Anonymous - 26/02/2017 19:00 - United States - Shreveport

Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 751

You deserved it 2 025

By JohnMackSquirts - 19/03/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 974

You deserved it 115 411

By lean_mean_meme_machine - 10/12/2016 19:07 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was visiting my grandma who has a beagle named Max. He was so excited to see me, he jumped on my face and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 396

You deserved it 696

By Anonymousagb - 24/04/2009 15:18 - United Arab Emirates

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 964

You deserved it 92 171

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 475

You deserved it 5 305

By killjoyx - 23/07/2015 18:28 - United States - Suffolk

Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 805

You deserved it 3 190

Soggy

By ninjapup - 02/01/2010 04:40 - Canada

Today, I was at a party, chatting up this guy while we were petting my friends dog. The dog had just been outside and was kinda wet, I assumed it was raining out. Just then someone came up and said "Um, that dog's covered in pee." Apparently someone peed off the deck onto the dog as it walked by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 136

You deserved it 2 981

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 135

You deserved it 630

By Anonymous - 09/08/2018 20:30

Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 3 371

MiniatureMayhem 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 12:41

Chihuahuas tend to do that.

that_guy321 2

Wednesday 23 September 2009 14:03

you, my good sir/ma'am, fail miserably

Comments

littlegirl12_fml 0

Friday 25 September 2009 20:20

probably because its animal cruelty to throw a dog in the air?

null_fml 11

Sunday 11 October 2009 9:10

Just using an old post to test something here...

kile88 2

Friday 6 November 2009 16:56

why would you lift a puppy in the air anyway ?? its like lifting a baby in the air.. its cruel and you had that one coming

LoosechangeXxXx 0

Friday 8 January 2010 4:45

That is not that bad FML for having to read this.

MustangFilly77 9

Saturday 6 March 2010 5:50

OMFG!

MustangFilly77 9

Saturday 6 March 2010 5:50

That's just nasty....

Cnote231 0

Friday 23 July 2010 6:44

if it's smaller than a rat and you can kill it by stepping on it... it's not a dog!

Happier_fml 1

Friday 10 August 2012 21:12

Haha I'll stick with my cat who ***** on my shoes thanks! XD

PuppiesKisses 15

Sunday 29 November 2015 14:07

Yup puppies can be notorious for that. It could be waaaay worse. I picked up my moms tortoise with his mouth facing out because I was paranoid of being bitten. It promptly shit all over the front of me. They explosively spray white poop.