Love: Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the...

By Lizofsmeg - 11/05/2012 05:03 - United States

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 220

You deserved it 3 226

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Same thing different taste

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 474

You deserved it 8 533

By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 153

You deserved it 4 742

By msjustine - 06/05/2011 19:27 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 960

You deserved it 13 378

By Creeped Out - 29/05/2017 18:00

Today, I went to the grocery store. As I was checking out, I went to grab the same item that the cashier was reaching for. He brushed my hand. He then both watched me creepily and asked my what lotion I used to make my hands so soft. When I left, he said, "I'll dream of you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 179

You deserved it 403

By DusterOverBits - 23/09/2009 09:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 383

You deserved it 44 843

Stranger danger

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 16:35 - United States - Calhoun

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 563

You deserved it 2 814

By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 06:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 341

You deserved it 16 364

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 14:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 284

You deserved it 30 208

By Noname - 25/02/2009 23:56 - United States

Today, I was on a subway with my boyfriend and it was stopping so I grabbed the pole for support. I felt another hand grabbing onto the pole knowing it was my boyfriend's. Without looking I carressed and tickled his hand. I turned around to smile at my boyfriend. The hand wasn't his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 360

You deserved it 40 160

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 06:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 894

You deserved it 4 394

MrHomerSimpson 11

Friday 11 May 2012 12:19

Good girl

SkoomaKi 27

Friday 11 May 2012 12:21

At least you wash your hands. A lot of people don't...

Comments

emstar828 4

Friday 11 May 2012 17:33

you guys are jerks. i posted a re-edit. well fine, hate all you want. & btw, i thought Doc's joke was funny.

KendratheUnicorn 0

Friday 11 May 2012 17:40

I'd actually laugh if this happened to me, not be creeped out XD

XxHoodieBearxX 5

Friday 11 May 2012 18:01

Just a joke. Nbd

PIE_In_a_SKILLET 6

Friday 11 May 2012 18:33

Did anyone else think of Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory when the read this? XD

iwadasn 32

Friday 11 May 2012 23:13

Sheldon would never take anyone's hand because that spreads germs.

oped01 8

Friday 11 May 2012 18:45

Creepy? Not as creepy as half the world who walk out of the toilet with crap on their hands to share with U

emba_fml 13

Friday 11 May 2012 20:06

your life is ****** because of this?

FatTony2010 4

Friday 11 May 2012 20:08

Get in!

labelsandme 10

Friday 11 May 2012 21:00

just buy a dog :)

JuuChan 3

Friday 11 May 2012 21:34

Hey, he's a new boyfriend. Should be easy enough to dump his creepy ass =). Although, he just might be the stalker type. FYL.

KhrystinaS 0

Friday 11 May 2012 21:41

That's so awkward ahahha

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Weddings Love My ex AITA Friends Jealousy Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Relatable Therapy Mental health Argument Thanksgiving Covid Parenting Kids Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Money Work

The Top

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 981

You deserved it 9 782

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 434

You deserved it 46 510

The Top

Today, my bosses pulled me aside and said to me they appreciated me for being such a hard worker, and told me they had something for me. They gave me a one year pin. Today was my 3 year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 65

Today, my 82-year-old great grandfather informed me that his "peeter" still works, and that most guys his age can't say the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 709

You deserved it 2 220

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 159

You deserved it 4 708

Today, I opened up to my boyfriend about being sexually abused in the past. He said it explains why I'm "such a bitch" when it comes to personal contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 069

You deserved it 2 331

Today, I'd like to thank Alexa for my notification, saying ”You bought a 4-pound bag of Jawbreakers recently, would you like to share your feedback with Amazon prime customers?" My wife heard the message and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 400

Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 414

You deserved it 8 357

Same thing different taste

Stranger danger

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