Kids: Today, I was baby sitting ten year old twins. When they first...

By annoyedwithkids - 02/07/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I was baby sitting ten year old twins. When they first saw me, they ran away screaming and hid in the closet. This isn't the first house where this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 635

You deserved it 5 394

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Same thing different taste

By peestain - 25/10/2010 10:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 674

You deserved it 32 131

The Shining

By Anonymous - 30/03/2020 14:00

Today, I was babysitting my 4 year-old twin brothers yet again. I began to get desperate when they took my phone and would start crying every time I tried to take it back. My mother found me thirty minutes later, huddled in a corner, crying. I'm 27 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 1 353

By Anonymous - 15/09/2014 15:51 - United States - West Newton

Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 161

You deserved it 2 941

By I hate children - 18/08/2014 12:10 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 194

You deserved it 5 169

By ellen77 - 13/09/2013 05:55 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 034

You deserved it 5 432

By Anonymous - 01/04/2013 16:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 876

You deserved it 8 031

Make it stop

By Levi2411 - 31/12/2018 04:00

Today, I'm babysitting. The kids have only been home at the same time together for 15 minutes. Two of them have punched each other and the other is running in circles screaming. What is wrong with this picture? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 297

You deserved it 330

The Omen

By Anonymous - 30/05/2012 01:55 - United States - Sioux City

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 944

You deserved it 2 014

Masters of mischief

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 16:00 - United States - Salem

Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 144

By UnpaidBabysitter - 07/08/2019 04:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was shut in a boiling hot room with six children: a 10-year-old who kept shouting, a belligerent 7-year-old, two 5-year-olds who thought hitting me was funny and two 2-year-olds, who wouldn't stop crying. Their parents were just outside, laughing away, ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 201

swansung 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 16:06

So, you have a face for telemarketing... or cattle wrangling. Could be worse. Could be your kids.

lovin_darkness 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 16:08

Ok Micheal Meyers, little tip: Try taking off the slasher clothes, putting down the knife and being friendly; maybe say hello

Comments

dewby98 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 21:18

you scare me too

KickItHigh 32

Saturday 2 July 2011 21:44

Time for a new face... or a lifestyle change. Also, i thought babysitting is one word... :S

princessjes23 6

Saturday 2 July 2011 21:50

Eh sometimes kids are jus like that.

mag4dust 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 22:29

sounds like your not good with kids at all....

KyraAlcor 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 22:45

bwaha that's sux

Chrispayne 4

Saturday 2 July 2011 23:08

Maybe u need to think about getting a new job like n the carnival

Chrispayne 4

Saturday 2 July 2011 23:08

Maybe u need to think about getting a new job like n the carnival

AnynomousPerson 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 23:57

Your pretty on the inside? Haha.

EmyB_fml 8

Sunday 3 July 2011 1:04

pic or it didn't happen JK

lisha88 1

Sunday 3 July 2011 1:09

maybe u should get plastic surgery if u look that bad

Keywords

Christmas Love Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family

The Top

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 866

You deserved it 5 424

Today, I yelled at one of my employees for trying to discreetly slip out of a meeting, and demanded he sit up front so I could make sure he stayed for the whole time. Three minutes later, he shat his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 1 050

The Top

Today, while working at a cell phone store, I helped an older woman learn how to use her newly updated phone. After trying to help her for over 20 minutes, she threatened to throw her phone at my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 138

You deserved it 867

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 828

You deserved it 5 393

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. I was shocked and confused as we use condoms and I'm on the pill. I confided in my friend, who guiltily confessed that her daughter swapped my pills for sugar pills and pinned through the rubbers to guarantee herself 5 more years of babysitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 942

You deserved it 749

Today, twelve days after stomach surgery, I birthed a left behind, forgotten blood-stained stinky surgical swab from my vagina. I have no idea why it was there in the first place. I feel violated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 384

You deserved it 163

Today, my recently built semi-detached house is so cheap and shoddily put together, I can both hear and feel the vibrations of my grossly obese neighbour farting in her sleep. No joke, every time she farts, I feel it vibrating my bed frame through the floorboards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 163

You deserved it 186

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 795

You deserved it 1 974