Kids and Cute: Masters of mischief

Masters of mischief

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 16:00 - United States - Salem

Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 141

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Same thing different taste

Call the Midwife-slash-Locksmith

By mama bear - 16/10/2019 18:00

Today, my one-year-old son locked me out of the house. I had no spare key and both him and my 4-month-old decided that was the perfect time to scream bloody murder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 454

You deserved it 339

By Cuzles - 23/03/2011 16:11 - United States

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 591

You deserved it 36 220

By Amber Rutledge - 27/01/2018 00:00

Today, my 2-year-old learned how to open the fridge lock. I came out of the bathroom to what she called a "scrambled egg breakfast". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 836

You deserved it 440

By gottapee - 26/04/2011 23:11 - United States

Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 695

You deserved it 6 025

By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 19:00 - United States - Royersford

Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 307

You deserved it 5 746

By WhatTheF - 11/07/2016 05:42

Today, after far too many times of my brother stealing food out of my own personal mini fridge, I bought a lock and chained the handles together. I came back to find that my brother had responded by breaking the doors off their hinges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 907

You deserved it 1 130

By mr_flarpin - 22/08/2012 00:37 - United States - Stoneham

Today, I got stumped by a childproof door. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 261

You deserved it 7 545

Haunted house

By Anonymous - 19/12/2020 16:58 - Germany

Today, I jumped when, after being home alone for days, I suddenly saw the door handle move. Apparently, the cats weren't happy about being locked out of the kitchen and were pretty close to figuring things out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 182

By ScaredDad - 02/05/2019 12:00

Today, I needed to grab something from the garage. As soon as the door closed, I heard a little click sound. My one-year-old seems to have figured out the door lock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 859

You deserved it 254

By TheComputerGuy96 - 22/05/2010 07:56 - Italy

Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 615

You deserved it 32 609

core01 30

Friday 19 July 2024 4:50

children, such a blessing. You could be a condom ad

Madness_Mayhem 2

Thursday 18 July 2024 20:01

yo... I'm allergic to peanut butter so I would have been froze...

Comments

Madness_Mayhem 2

Thursday 18 July 2024 20:01

yo... I'm allergic to peanut butter so I would have been froze...

Wadlaen 23

Thursday 18 July 2024 23:52

Boys will be boys...

core01 30

Friday 19 July 2024 4:50

children, such a blessing. You could be a condom ad

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 20 July 2024 21:44

And they're only four??? Either they're practicing to be the next Kevin McCallister or they're going to wind up in juvenile detention.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 21 July 2024 2:25

Kevin and Devin McCallister.

JasonThorn 20

Sunday 28 July 2024 4:13

"Congratulations, you two...YOU'RE GETTING CHIPPED. Like the animals you are."

Keywords

Scams Food Money Relatable Parents Health Lonely Growing old Love Work Games Miscellaneous Cheating Weird Awkward Romantic Sex Intimacy Birthday Shopping Ironic Sexting Porn Embarrassing Confused Restaurants Cute Kids Family Music

The Top

Today, after I ordered a pair of "one size fits all" leggings from a sketchy online store, they arrived. I eagerly tried them on only to discover they fit… but only one leg. Now, I’m stuck with what looks like a bizarre spandex leg warmer. The company doesn’t accept returns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 447

Today, while packing up my classroom, I had a sudden stinging pain in my finger. Since I live in Arizona, my first thought was a black widow or scorpion, but the ER doctor didn't believe me and said it's nothing. Tell that to my tingling swollen arm. It’s been 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 816

You deserved it 225

The Top

Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 749

You deserved it 7 383

Today, I caught my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been as mortifying if they weren't doing it in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 470

You deserved it 218

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 069

You deserved it 32 231

Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 708

You deserved it 12 507

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 267 479

You deserved it 90 889

Today, I got "Despacito" stuck in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 353

Masters of mischief

Same thing different taste

Call the Midwife-slash-Locksmith

Haunted house

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