Kids: Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating...

By nutsucker - 08/03/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 527

You deserved it 10 866

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Same thing different taste

By Lisaa918 - 10/06/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 200

You deserved it 6 185

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my boss's kids. I brought chocolate for them and the youngest said he had never had chocolate and didn't want any. I told him he should always try new things and should eat it. He did. He's allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 415

You deserved it 42 037

By tenthousandspoon - 13/09/2010 00:08 - New Zealand

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 838

You deserved it 3 054

By Grant - 11/01/2013 00:51 - United States

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 758

You deserved it 3 110

Bad babysitter

By cantprovenothing - 18/04/2014 21:31 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 625

You deserved it 48 837

By nutrigrain123 - 23/05/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 555

You deserved it 27 576

By ManchotDesAndes - 26/02/2015 07:35 - France - Bezons

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 301

You deserved it 11 166

Gummy

By madeleine - 08/04/2021 05:00

Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 291

By thatoneguy - 05/09/2011 20:23 - United States

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 457

You deserved it 3 466

By Aliya - 01/03/2009 14:14 - United States

Today, I was eating nacho chips with my nieces when I started to feel that some were wet. I look at my niece and notice she was sucking on the chips, and putting them back in the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 281

You deserved it 6 942

Mark_Power 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:04

LMFAO THAT'S HILARIOUS.

TheBigDawg 8

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:05

I reeeeeeeeally hope they asked you to explain right away...lol

Comments

PaperxHearts_xox 0

Monday 1 June 2009 5:34

lmfao; that's happened to me before! but with ice cream cones ;D my little cousin was like "Those nuts taste really good!" ahaha. they won't take it too badly, unless they're mildly (or severely) sensitive to sexual puns. but thats hilarious.

Illumi113 0

Saturday 15 August 2009 0:18

Unless they're beyond reason, they should understand if you clarify.

auds23 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 22:50

ok, it says clearly at the bottom of the fml thats its a woman, so why would u ask if its a boy or a girl? also, a 7-yr old wouldnt think about that in a nasty way, so its not like its a major problem saying that, and it doesnt make her a perv. anyway, thats really funny!!! once i was babysitting these kids and one of them went to the bathroom, without me knowing. i asked the other kid where he was at and she said "in the bathroom playing with his penis" she was 8!!

ibanezplyr03 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 11:21

In all fairness, I use FML on my phone. It never shows OP's gender. I find myself wondering that all the time.

Sl1mShad3y 10

Thursday 8 September 2011 1:05

obviously you don't have an iPhone :P

samba6970 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 15:20

not really the OP fault.....parents are the ones that use metaphors to cover up sexual related items....if not because of them...nuts would mean nuts....nothing sexual...as the manly parts are testicles....:D