Kids: Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly...

By 1D-107 - 31/07/2012 17:43 - United States - Logan

Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 564

You deserved it 2 479

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Bad boy

By darlingditz - 02/04/2009 23:05 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 521

You deserved it 12 531

All my fault

By streaker? - 27/11/2015 14:21 - Germany - Langenhagen

Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 266

You deserved it 2 039

By ellen77 - 13/09/2013 05:55 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 034

You deserved it 5 432

By Anonymous - 04/08/2013 05:29 - United States - Lewis Center

Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 281

You deserved it 7 003

By peestain - 25/10/2010 10:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 673

You deserved it 32 130

By Anonymous - 11/02/2010 13:33 - United States

Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 530

You deserved it 7 925

By slashteddy - 09/09/2009 23:30 - United States

Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 959

You deserved it 2 809

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 606

You deserved it 3 175

By Noname - 09/03/2009 23:36 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting my co-worker's son. He was eating Jell-o and spilled it on his top, so I pulled off his PJ's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 012

You deserved it 6 062

Sights, sounds, smells

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 12:00

Today, I was babysitting my friend's kids. One of the twin babies threw up all over my shirt and it went down my bra. Of course, I didn't have a change of clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 175

PuffDaddy395 3

Wednesday 1 August 2012 0:20

Are the kids studying astronomy? Maybe study of the stars, sun, and your moon?

TrueTriage 16

Wednesday 1 August 2012 0:22

Sounds like you need to ask the parents for a raise... And maybe a leash

Comments

rockurheart 9

Wednesday 1 August 2012 16:12

they have a great future ahead of them

suoerkewl 15

Wednesday 1 August 2012 17:16

If you got it, flaunt it.

devonisthebest 7

Wednesday 1 August 2012 17:50

What are the chances of all of the people below saw everything?

Joui_fml 11

Wednesday 1 August 2012 20:15

Sounds like a parenting fail.

88vivera 9

Wednesday 1 August 2012 22:02

They totally ganged up on u

kainpwnsu 19

Thursday 2 August 2012 3:05

Yeah, sounds like something I'd expect in Utah. =/

EyeLoveChicken 0

Thursday 2 August 2012 4:01

Beat those *******.

cool987654321 0

Sunday 9 September 2012 20:56

Show them who's boss!

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 737

You deserved it 280

The Top

Today, I got kicked out of my favorite pub. I yelled at the group behind me for being annoying. They were extremely irritating, singing songs and cheering, but the manager decided to kick me out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 1 477

Today, there was a karaoke at my job's Thanksgiving party. A girl sang and sounded horrible. I later told a colleague about it and said, "She sucked so bad… if I wanted to hear an animal dying, I'd go to a slaughterhouse." She was within earshot and burst into tears. Oh, and she's my boss's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 1 656

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 364

You deserved it 2 474

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 058

You deserved it 5 828

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 034

You deserved it 7 533

Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 241

Same thing different taste

Bad boy

All my fault

Sights, sounds, smells

Top comments

Comments