Miscellaneous: Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I...

By Anonymous - 24/07/2013 20:56 - United States - South Hadley

Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 844

You deserved it 15 940

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By useless pos - 01/03/2013 00:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 292

You deserved it 12 379

Who are you to judge?

By vertigoisarat - 23/02/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, I went to the drug store to pick up a few things. After looking for condoms for 15 minutes, I asked the cashier where I could find them. She said they keep them behind the counter due to theft. She refused to sell them to me, because they're for customers who might actually need them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 161

The cat's out of the bag

By Anonymous - 26/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 368

Acting kinda sus

By sailinggsoul - 02/08/2019 00:01

Today, I bought a box of tampons and went to the store restroom to insert one. I then put the box inside my purse. On my way out, I got stopped by security, who yelled at me to empty my purse. He grabbed my bag, spilling the tampons everywhere. Apparently, he thought I was stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 945

You deserved it 175

Help!

By clip_kate - 01/07/2016 02:36

Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 297

You deserved it 1 403

By totallyembarassed - 07/07/2012 04:08 - United States - Charlotte

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 003

You deserved it 28 778

Flustered

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 110

By what_the_hell - 20/06/2013 08:35 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 864

You deserved it 3 600

By Dv0829 - 21/10/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 240

You deserved it 4 829

Get on with it!

By Anonymous - 13/05/2023 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the supermarket to buy my weekly groceries and only realized after a long queue at the checkout, then having the cashier scan my entire cart, that I'd forgotten my purse. I had to leave everything behind and walk out empty-handed, while everyone in line behind me gave me dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 308

KBurns207 17

Thursday 25 July 2013 8:14

Dude if you're too embarrassed to just buy some condoms, you're probably too young. Just man up and buy them... Sorry but YDI man.

doodieman 9

Thursday 25 July 2013 8:16

If you scanned them, couldn't he just look at the screen?

Comments

swedeNix 13

Thursday 25 July 2013 18:40

Never be ashamed that ur thinking of safety!!

swedeNix 13

Thursday 25 July 2013 18:41

Read some comments, anyone noted that OP got a female signature????

EnjoiChocolate 9

Thursday 25 July 2013 18:42

I use one mobile FML app that doesn't actually show gender symbols. I just check the comments if I get curious on the gender (which I don't). From what I know, most FML apps do show the gender icon though.

panicxgirl 12

Thursday 25 July 2013 19:30

There's nothing embarrassing about safe sex. But if you're really embarrassed, buy a birthday card and say they're a gag gift.

dermor 3

Thursday 25 July 2013 19:40

why buy them? So many places give them out for free, go into a health clinic and ask for a bag of them. Once you're able to actually buy them without feeling embarrassed then you can go into the store and buy the fun ones that glow in the dark or get hotter or colder as you get going.

rickyblair 16

Thursday 25 July 2013 20:29

Why are people so embarrassed to buy condoms? Everyone has sex, and cashier's don't give a ****. I bought some for a joke and my friend made a big deal on the way to the counter, the moment we got there the cashier's like, "I probably wouldn't have even noticed you were buying condoms if you'd just been normal. I scan stuff all day, I don't care."

Jordan96parker 8

Thursday 25 July 2013 20:59

haha! I approved this Fml. :) you're welcome.

Omniprism 14

Thursday 25 July 2013 21:29

Don't be embarrassed. Think of how girls feel when we have to buy tampons. Just think of it this way... At least your having sex and that's awesome. Next time just smile the whole time like you've got a dirty little secret. Sides the checker scans a million things a day. They shouldn't care what you get.

Stella836475 7

Thursday 25 July 2013 22:32

Dude it's just condoms. You shouldn't be embarrassed, you should be PROUD because you're getting laid! Plus you're being safe about sex! So grow some balls the next time you buy condoms.

AGuyNamedI 7

Thursday 25 July 2013 23:51

I agree with #95. Make a scene. Show the world you're being safe, and damn well proud of it. Besides, get his ass to buy them if you're worried. Why are you buying the willy wrap?