Miscellaneous: Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally...

By Nick - 11/02/2010 18:35 - United States

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 496

You deserved it 5 583

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/12/2014 19:11 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, while putting a water bottle into the fridge, I suddenly had to sneeze. The force of my sneezing propelled my head against the open fridge door, causing a gushing wound to my forehead. Bless me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 112

You deserved it 3 608

By Etta - 04/03/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, I stayed home from work, feeling ill. Come lunch time, I made myself some ramen noodles, thinking that the broth would feel good on my throat. Too bad I sneezed while carrying the bowl, dumping the boiling hot broth all down my front. The skin on my boob peeled away like tissue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 537

You deserved it 589

By ke - 29/01/2010 05:10 - United States

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 855

You deserved it 30 874

Clumsy

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 20:02

Today, I was making Cup Noodles for breakfast. After microwaving it for 3 minutes, I carefully grabbed the cup to pour some water out, but my hand gave out and some water spilled on it. Now I have a burned hand and no noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 280

By mwja - 26/02/2011 22:59 - France

Today, thanks to a particularly spicy bowl of noodles, my nose decided it would rather be a fountain. A fountain of blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 530

You deserved it 3 948

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 20:13 - France

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 323

You deserved it 7 577

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 00:01

Today, a fork hit me in the eye. I was holding it. I didn't even get to eat my chicken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 410

You deserved it 559

By yankesik - 03/01/2016 22:42 - Poland - Kalisz

Today, I sneezed hard while eating some quite spicy potato chips at my friend's house. Some of the chips passed to the nasal cavity, and I ended up having to pick my nose for some pointy, spicy chips shrapnel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 292

You deserved it 1 829

By klutz - 25/08/2010 04:14 - Canada

Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 210

You deserved it 9 714

By HWS - 15/04/2011 05:47 - Canada

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 286

You deserved it 7 776

angry_girl 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 23:18

you forked yourself ... who hasn't

maskedman 9

Thursday 11 February 2010 23:18

wow. was there penetration or was it like softcore ****?

Comments

Tacota 0

Friday 19 February 2010 21:55

HAHAHAHAH Im sorrry but I just burst the **** out laughing xD FYL.

lilbz76 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 8:04

you do know that a sneeze comes out at about a hundred miles an hour, right?

11colio11 4

Tuesday 29 June 2010 0:13

ydi for using a fork

manda_baby_rawr 4

Sunday 1 August 2010 2:26

how did you even manage to do that? 0.o I can't figure it out to save my life. HOW OP HOW?!?!

sniperkitten 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 18:00

Chop sticks ftw!

MYMMYMSICSIC 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 4:31

why would you eat noodles with a fork

peachezthelette 22

Sunday 14 November 2010 12:19

Nice. How epic

bepe22 0

Monday 21 March 2011 1:25

this made me lmfao (:

BrassKnucklez69 0

Friday 25 March 2011 6:34

hahahah omg that was the funniest thing ive ever read on here

iLuvBlueex3 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 7:45

hahahaha im sorry but that was funny !

Keywords

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Well. I must admit when I first received today's illustration, seeing the massive pliers pop out kind of freaked me out. Then I reached the last panel and I'm not sure if it's out of anxiety relief or what, but I laughed so hard I might have choked a...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 034

You deserved it 4 250

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Today, I have a zit on the edge of my nostril, along with severe allergies. I can no longer tell if my tears are from pain or hay fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 96

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 445

You deserved it 7 721

Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 386

You deserved it 53 424

Today, I became one of those women who gave birth in a taxi. I used to laugh at those stories, because I couldn’t believe they would be so unprepared that they couldn’t get to the hospital first. Oh and I had to get a taxi because my husband had been watching football and was too drunk to drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 350

Today, I discovered my wife has been smoking weed for the past 2 years before she has sex with me. She said it was the only way she could force herself to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 743

You deserved it 7 175

Today, I got flustered by the gorgeous sandwich artist at Subway and ordered a “meat-long foot-ball.” On Rye of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 254

Same thing different taste

Clumsy

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