By laughingflame - 04/08/2011 06:00 - United States

Spicy
Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 164
You deserved it 12 922
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Top comments

choshaki 8

haha next time make sexual noise maybe then she will leave u alone..

121 8
BelleBelle_fml 11

How do all of these people keep getting caught masturbating or having sex?! Lol you'd think they would learn by now...

107 4

Comments

onthetoilet 3

Just do "it" at night when she falls asleep

29 1
rattusrattus 18

Catholicism is a form of Christianity. All Catholics are Christians, but not all Christians are Catholics. Unless there's a form of Buddhist Catholicism or something I haven't heard about. [/sarcasm]

3 1
rhysfucker 24

Tell her "at least I'm not banging ho's like King David" and watch her head explode...

93 7
rattusrattus 18

Actually, yes Catholics are Christians. Unless some other religion has a 'Catholic' branch.

3 2
FMLephant 2

She'll be reading to you more when you go blind

38 11
Daederoth 10

You know... the Bible does say it is better to plant your seed in the belly of a ***** than to spill it on the ground. Just something to think about.

45 24
skyeyez9 24

Dont most guys spill it in a dirty sock?

25 1
JayBear14 11

So... Time for a blowup dolll then?

17 1
ThreeSheetsGone 12

You can plant your seed, just pray it doesn't take root.

15 3
locals321 0

it also says a woman shall not hold authority over man and that she must remain silent. and the bible also says slaves are okay to have, the bible isn't alright right.

38 17
nixter5 18

I was expecting you to say she started coming on to you. THAT. would have been bad.

10 4
ichikibobivopula 0

Every time you whack off, God kills a kitten.

17 44
Krennicus 0

Solution to the rampant cat population. Everyone jack off now!

26 4
perdix 29

Just tear out the pages where the story of Onan is. If you want to be really heretical, use those pages to catch your spooge.

18 2
muchagente 5

maybe you shouldn't judge easily on such personal matters, but somehow it seems sick to me if she thinks that this helps. if you want to help people jack off, you should read them ****, that's my opinion. tell your mother.

13 3