Work: Today, I was chatting with a new guy at work. He cracked a joke...

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By framed - 02/04/2016 12:30 - United States - Portsmouth

Today, I was chatting with a new guy at work. He cracked a joke about me and I jokingly gave him a light push on the shoulder. Half a second after I touched him, he threw himself back and hit the floor yelling in "pain". Now I'm suspended because of this psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 413

You deserved it 2 425

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Same thing different taste

Uncomfortable

By bad timing - 03/09/2019 15:01 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, at work, my manager accidentally bumped into me, brushing my behind with the back of his hand. He was a bit embarrassed, so I jokingly said, “You could at least buy me dinner first!” He went to HR and told them I made him uncomfortable. I was just trying to lighten the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 922

You deserved it 373

Power move

By Anonymous - 30/09/2019 22:02

Today, I was walking my girlfriend to class when my friend came by and playfully punched me in the arm. Trying not to look like a wimp, I turned around to hit him in the arm. Instead, I ended up punching a girl in the face. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me and I'm suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 1 793

By introuble - 23/08/2009 04:48 - United States

Today, as I was getting into work, I saw a co-worker of mine walking in front of me. We're really good friends and we joke around a lot, so I jokingly whistled at him and slapped his butt. Turns out it wasn't my friend, it was the new guy. Hello, sexual harassment charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 212

You deserved it 17 085

Thanks a bunch

By nose hurts - 30/12/2012 01:01 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 655

You deserved it 3 497

By hangman - 01/08/2013 18:25 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 761

You deserved it 4 538

Mind melting

By Ashley - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Belmont

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 612

You deserved it 8 216

Karma

By anon - 10/10/2023 10:00

Today, to get my coworker fired, I spiked his coffee with whiskey. Joke's on me, he's apparently enough of a drunk that it didn't affect him. ThenI dropped the bottle as I was leaving for the day, cut up my ankle, and I'm now suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 2 153

By Anonymous - 08/05/2012 14:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was at my job life-guarding, when a woman pushed the spine-board over, hitting me on the back of my head. She laughed, but I now have a concussion and a stiff neck, and my co-workers can't stop laughing at the "irony." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 741

You deserved it 1 754

You laugh, you lose

By YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK - 03/11/2012 00:23 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 507

You deserved it 4 158

Pranksters

By dan - 09/05/2012 20:10 - United States - Laurel

Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the backrest came apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to, "Stop fucking about." I thought this only happened in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 192

You deserved it 2 182

coming back in the future 30

Sunday 3 April 2016 0:13

He must be a football player.

pokemyeyes 23

Sunday 3 April 2016 0:18

Just dont touch anyone, jokingly or otherwise, theres no need. Having said that, he is indeed a psycho, FYL.

Comments

KaylaTackett 18

Sunday 3 April 2016 4:24

Are there cameras to show what really happened?

SecundusSecunda 27

Sunday 3 April 2016 4:46

If he got suspended, probably not :/

Bunnyluver 20

Sunday 3 April 2016 4:51

Is the place you work at that bad or is he easy to tip over? I'm so sorry for you...

rocketiquette 20

Sunday 3 April 2016 6:22

Did he pepper spray you too??

megs925 16

Sunday 3 April 2016 6:51

Be careful playing with others, especially those you don't know very well, in a physical manner. Could end up with an assault and battery charge. As someone else mentioned before, it's unfortunate but still the world we live in.

shailenexcarverx 13

Sunday 3 April 2016 7:28

Michelle it was a hard shove and you know it

v4valour 15

Sunday 3 April 2016 8:37

If he really is a psycho get rid of him fast, one way or another. Chances are he will get you fired/ threaten to soon.(a planted bag of weed always helps ;)

iateapenguin 27

Wednesday 6 April 2016 13:22

...I cannot find the appropriate words to explain just how stupid, immature and cruel that is.

starnuggitz 7

Sunday 3 April 2016 9:16

Same thing happened to me but with my older schizophrenic brother. I gave him a weak punch to make him back away from me because he was up in my face, then he threw himself down a few seconds after...