Miscellaneous: Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot...

By combo - 28/02/2010 09:12 - France

Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 977

You deserved it 27 541

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Same thing different taste

By Hairytoes - 07/10/2011 10:35 - United States

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 738

You deserved it 17 461

Toot toot

By gassy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 250

You deserved it 36 071

By wtf - 30/01/2015 09:00 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 596

You deserved it 2 657

Headshot!

By almyric - 02/10/2019 12:02

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a foot massage. I learned that his feet are ticklish when he kicked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 450

You deserved it 287

By Grrr - 20/07/2012 07:58 - United States - Salem

Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 386

You deserved it 2 079

By fEk - 22/03/2019 09:00 - Australia

Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 992

You deserved it 343

By Anonymous - 11/05/2011 14:10 - Australia

Today, I discovered my boyfriend is incredibly ticklish on the bottom of his feet. Trying to be a bit flirty, I slowly slid two fingers down his calf and mockingly tickled his feet. He reacted by inadvertently elbowing me in the nose, nearly breaking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 877

You deserved it 43 599

By all5fingers - 08/09/2011 05:23 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 628

You deserved it 3 246

Scream

By dating a pussy - 18/02/2014 21:15 - United States - Maryville

Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 238

You deserved it 5 759

By scaryhairy - 04/11/2009 01:44 - United States

Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 001

You deserved it 5 185

sum1savemeh 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 16:06

I think you might need to shave

TehFuzzyOne 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 16:06

Is that the FIRST time?

Comments

beachxlovex3 0

Monday 1 March 2010 1:46

what does OP mean? ive seen it like 13761274624527 times and i wanna know !

xHabsfanx 0

Monday 1 March 2010 7:17

OP means Original Poster, who's also known as the person who posted the fml.

budster1993 2

Monday 1 March 2010 4:11

I can hear your scre it sounds so gay lol

0mfgz 0

Monday 1 March 2010 4:25

That is gross. Shave that shit.

strawhat 2

Monday 1 March 2010 7:08

dumb bitch! tweezers! hahaha

Solisa149448 0

Monday 1 March 2010 7:14

Ewww. Hairy toes are gross. Shave them.

drea41 0

Monday 1 March 2010 7:26

gross shave that

hellzrydaz 0

Monday 1 March 2010 8:41

ydi for being a ******!

Compass 0

Monday 1 March 2010 14:52

And you didn't think it was probably the grass you were walking in? YDI for being so fucktardedly easy to startle.

ash92_fml 0

Monday 1 March 2010 16:08

um. shave it?

sparxva 12

Monday 1 March 2010 17:30

Wow! You *really* need to get out more.

Keywords

Clothes Miscellaneous Relatable Shoes Insurance Transportation Cars Health Work Love Cheating Embarrassing Clumsy Food Awkward Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Cute Dogs Pranks Ironic Shopping Texting Mistakes Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, after a few of my friends decided to drink last night, and my best friend ended up getting very drunk and confessing to my boyfriend that she loves him, her brother came over and gave me a lecture about responsibilities. I don't know what's worse, the lecture or the fact that her brother is my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 164

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 932

You deserved it 6 772

The Top

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 333

You deserved it 3 249

Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 313

You deserved it 5 173

Today, my 17-year-old daughter has been sending and receiving videos and pictures of a sexual nature. I just had to wade through a ton of middle-aged dick pics as evidence for the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 157

You deserved it 608

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 782

You deserved it 11 019

Today, it was both my and my stepmother's birthday. In preparation, my dad bought a huge banner with my stepmother's name on it, and a lovely birthday cake. When I told him it was also my birthday, he just grunted and taped a post-it note to the banner with my name on it. Same with the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 833

You deserved it 3 038

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 151

You deserved it 5 137

Same thing different taste

Toot toot

Headshot!

Scream

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