Intimacy: Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly...

By welly223 - 20/01/2011 06:01 - Canada

Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 198

You deserved it 3 289

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Top Chef

By Mother of a dumb blonde - 22/06/2017 02:00

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that no, just because the word, "salad" is in the name, it doesn't mean that macaroni or potato salad are automatically healthy for you. She still doesn't believe me. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 876

You deserved it 698

By Anonymous - 15/09/2018 14:30 - United States - Buffalo

Today, during a meeting with my boss, she explained she's giving me one more chance before she has to fire me. Her reason? I accidentally ordered chicken on a salad last week for a meeting and she feels my performance has gone down the tubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 844

You deserved it 230

Don't laugh

By PaneraSucks - 19/02/2014 06:24 - United States - Londonderry

Today, a customer at work pronounced the word "Asian" as "Ah-See-Awn" when ordering a salad. I wasn't allowed to say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 202

You deserved it 4 294

By Anonymous - 25/09/2014 12:18 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, we had a meeting at my job and we had to introduce new ideas to our boss. Earlier, I was talking to one of my close friends who also attended the meeting about my idea. As we start the meeting, she decides to steal my idea and take complete credit for it. My boss loves "her" idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 372

You deserved it 6 837

Under new management

By NotAThief - 17/07/2017 20:00

Today, I got a talking-to at work from my new manager for eating other peoples' lunches. Immediately afterwards, I watched my manager leave the room, take MY lunch, and begin eating it. Apparently my new manager is the thief, and I'm now the office pariah who gets the blame. Nobody believes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 215

You deserved it 314

By thatisfuckedup - 13/06/2013 22:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 454

You deserved it 3 884

By xoragebaby - 24/01/2015 01:29 - United States

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 723

You deserved it 5 046

By Anonymous - 19/06/2014 08:24 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I shouldn't have told my boss that I was interested in management. She now throws any problem she doesn't want to solve at me and either gets mad when I can't work it out or takes credit when I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 402

You deserved it 6 644

Thanks, I guess

By ST3PH - 09/07/2009 19:17 - Canada

Today, my boss requested that I re-organize every file in the office, because she wanted the filing cabinets alphabetized right to left, not left to right. To thank me, she came into my office to give me one uncooked ear of corn. I think my boss has mistaken me for some kind of farm animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 706

You deserved it 3 712

Masterchef

By Embarassed - 19/03/2014 22:24 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my boss told me that there is no point in making me cut onions anymore because every time I do, I look like I've "been beaten", and can't be seen by the customers for at least half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 737

You deserved it 3 624

FYLDeep 25

Thursday 20 January 2011 12:17

Maybe she comes up with her best ideas when she's tossing the salad. Who are you to judge?

babyyappld 7

Thursday 20 January 2011 12:03

looks like you guys will just have to "toss the salad" on other ways to tell him

Comments

Froyden 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 21:08

Couldn't you have just printed out the definition from the internet and discretely laid it on her desk?

Shinygirlnz 1

Thursday 20 January 2011 22:44

That's hilarious. But it sucks working for dumb bosses.

jessicarenee88 0

Friday 21 January 2011 1:06

Lmfao! Youve let her continue to call it this for how long? I would lmao every time she said that.

sassygrl5 0

Friday 21 January 2011 1:49

How is this supposed to be funny!!! Just let your boss call it tossing the salad!

emjay09 0

Friday 21 January 2011 7:39

tossing the salad sounds more fun. let the old lady have her expression. she could croak soon.

Shturmanbasov 0

Friday 21 January 2011 8:34

That's a good one, sure as hell made me laugh :P

brittania22 0

Friday 21 January 2011 8:35

lmao!

e1ementsk8r 0

Friday 21 January 2011 13:49

FAIL

HMayy 4

Friday 21 January 2011 17:58

Urghhh

KessyKandi 0

Friday 21 January 2011 19:21

I purposely wouldn't tell her- that's fantastic

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I am so sick and tired of watching my brother get everything he wants in life from being a bastard. He does everything I would consider bad and it’s made him rich and successful. I try and be a good person and all it got me is fired, and in danger of losing my car and house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 131

Today, my wedding limo driver got high and forgot to pick us up, so the photographers gave us a ride back to the venue from the photo shoot. Three bridesmaids, a flower girl, and I, in my full wedding dress, had to fit in the back of the 1997 Toyota Camry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 647

You deserved it 390

The Top

Today, I had an anxiety attack because I thought I'd lost my anxiety medication. It ended up being on the shelf right where I left it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 190

You deserved it 10 369

Today, after years struggling with obesity, alcoholism, and mental illness, I finally decided I'd fixed myself up enough to try dating. The first girl I went out with said, "You're 31 and you've never dated? Sorry to break it to you, but nobody's going to want to walk a 31-year-old through Dating 101." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 337

You deserved it 208

Today, I went for a drive with my boyfriend and his dad. His dad was kind enough to point out at every opportunity girls "that would be better for him than me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 500

You deserved it 3 085

Today, my now ex-fiancée confessed that "our" child is most likely actually hers and my father's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 925

You deserved it 1 668

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw a brick down the laundry-chute. Guess who spent the night at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 464

You deserved it 1 746

Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 86