Animals: Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first...

By poohead - 09/12/2009 05:07 - Australia

Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 146

You deserved it 30 209

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By animallover - 26/06/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 578

You deserved it 5 303

By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 12:33 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I was cleaning up rabbit pee from the floor when my rabbit hopped up to me. To prevent her from standing in it and spreading it throughout the room, I shooed her away. She got such a fright that she jumped in the pee and spattered it all over my clothes and face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 497

You deserved it 683

By mother of piggies - 04/04/2018 15:00

Today, I learnt that my guinea pig can shoot poop across the room like a tiny brown torpedo. How did I find this out? It landed in my coffee. It wasn't until after I'd finished my coffee that I noticed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 109

You deserved it 427

By alex - 16/02/2010 16:43 - United States

Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 118

You deserved it 32 913

Stiff upper lip

By StomachofTinfoil - 24/11/2014 01:59 - United States - Bar Harbor

Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 312

You deserved it 3 603

By Anonymous - 02/12/2009 19:25 - United States

Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 879

You deserved it 7 341

What a cozy moment

By ratfaced - 12/10/2017 07:00 - United States - Stamford

Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 729

You deserved it 382

By Anonymous - 26/02/2017 19:00 - United States - Shreveport

Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 753

You deserved it 2 027

By shando - 08/11/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 591

You deserved it 3 580

So sweet

By Mom of 3 - 07/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 957

You deserved it 437

catatonicsleep 17

Wednesday 9 December 2009 12:23

3 inch layer of dirt, shouldn't you have cleaned them out a long time ago?

Penrhyn 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 12:42

A guinea pigs pregnancy is 65-72 days...if this was the first time you cleaned it since you got them then you definitely deserve it. Also, I notice you live in QLD...you do know that there are approximately 300+ guinea pigs languising in Australian Cavy Sanctuary shelters in QLD right? And many more in the NSW + Victorian shelters. If you bred on purpose then you really deserve it.

Comments

COBRAMORPH 0

Friday 11 December 2009 11:34

Since you are a woman, I will assume that this isnt the first time you have had that sprayed on your face. YDI.

MelMel1997 0

Monday 1 February 2010 1:23

OMG! Sucks to be you! Oh! And P.S. when there are 3 layers of shit in the cage you are suppost to clean it out! I mean come on!! You should know that! My mum's daycare kids can figure that out! What did you do? Skip High School like my cousin Tina? Get some learning skills in your head you dumb ass!!!

Sheebz 0

Friday 23 April 2010 23:08

ahhh.... the mircale of birth

hassenpfeffermmm 0

Monday 26 April 2010 17:27

Placenta is used in facials. So it's really a good thing!

Lauren_aar 0

Tuesday 18 May 2010 7:09

you should clean it like once a week. ydi

Duffman68 0

Wednesday 7 July 2010 2:14

eeeewwww period juice

francinethepig 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 6:27

okay, dude. take care of your pigs. they deserve it, they didn't do anything to you besides just be cute. it's not good for them to have 3 INCHES of crap in there cage.