Miscellaneous: Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to...

By Anonymous - 06/02/2016 01:34 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 439

You deserved it 2 181

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Limited edition prank

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Hopkinsville

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

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reachaxe 22

Saturday 6 February 2016 20:08

Next time cut them after a warm bath!

capscapscaps43 14

Saturday 6 February 2016 20:08

Lol this is disgusting yet amusing.

Comments

corky1992 33

Sunday 7 February 2016 0:27

That's unfortunate, but I agree it's pretty funny lol.

russfml 31

Sunday 7 February 2016 0:45

I think your toe nail just became a master of karate

allforfun 23

Sunday 7 February 2016 2:49

Don't feel bad; as medical professionals we hear way more ridiculous stories than that... He'll forget about you tomorrow when a patient comes in with something up their butt