Health: Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once...

By 5p4571k - 25/05/2014 17:35 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 968

You deserved it 7 580

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Same thing different taste

By Ryan - 07/02/2010 14:18 - France

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 464

You deserved it 4 062

Happy wife, happy life, right?

By tradwife blues - 22/08/2023 15:02 - United States

Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 152

By PWI_addict - 03/01/2010 17:11 - United States

Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 238

You deserved it 35 583

By Chef stupid - 11/08/2016 15:32 - United States - Houston

Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 159

You deserved it 2 536

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 733

You deserved it 347

Chop chop

By shaz - 27/04/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 124

Kitchen Nightmares

By just the tip, though - 28/01/2014 17:06 - United States - Grovetown

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 024

You deserved it 11 935

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 21:12 - United States - Rockville

Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 719

You deserved it 2 792

By Prae - 01/10/2012 05:47 - United States - Dallas

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 683

You deserved it 2 118

Slicy slicy

By nessacadesa - 24/03/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 988

You deserved it 58 483

bromeister 6

Sunday 25 May 2014 21:51

When life gives you lemons, cut them carefully.

bellles 18

Sunday 25 May 2014 21:53

Those damn bloody lemons

Comments

Adam5858 17

Sunday 25 May 2014 23:08

Did it get infected?

ViviMage 38

Sunday 25 May 2014 23:12

Tuck your fingertips in or but a mandolin cutter with a finger guard

peelmeandsee 8

Sunday 25 May 2014 23:30

*tramatized noise*

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 25 May 2014 23:35

Must be really bad if even noise can be traumatised...

Piranhasauce 1

Sunday 25 May 2014 23:46

I work in a kitchen so I'm a little less sympathetic. I can call the wambulance if you need it tho.

Kami_no_Kage 10

Monday 26 May 2014 0:11

Cats paw when cutting vegetables. Remember.

Metagame 12

Monday 26 May 2014 0:23

That's even worse than acid!...Wait...

mybubbles2000 13

Monday 26 May 2014 1:24

That's just adding insult to injury.

ElphieRose 5

Monday 26 May 2014 1:25

Oh good lord I'm sorry

BMTHsuperfan 18

Monday 26 May 2014 2:28

i cringed at that. sorry OP.

thesimp 6

Monday 26 May 2014 2:29

A feast of blood... Delightful :)

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 535

You deserved it 10 056

Today, my brother showed my wife a Craigslist ad by someone seeking casual sex. It had very specific details that made it seem like I wrote it. My brother later admitted in private that he made the post as revenge for me not loaning him $500 last month. Meanwhile, my wife still thinks I'm unfaithful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 646

You deserved it 1 159

The Top

Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 858

You deserved it 9 078

Today, my boyfriend said that he doesn't have to marry me because we coincidentally have the same last name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 764

You deserved it 5 641

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 483

You deserved it 5 217

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 947

You deserved it 2 461

Today, I got married. The officiant of the ceremony referred to me as Amanda through my ceremony. My name is Anna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 412

You deserved it 4 273

Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 292

You deserved it 7 461