Health: Today, I was diagnosed with strep throat. My mom wasted no time...

By Anonymous - 27/06/2013 16:58 - Finland - Nykarleby

Today, I was diagnosed with strep throat. My mom wasted no time accusing me of whoring around and claiming that most people get strep from performing oral sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 238

You deserved it 3 382

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Same thing different taste

#1 Mom

By Eden - 14/07/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 958

You deserved it 3 169

Thanks for sharing

By why ma? - 21/04/2022 15:01 - United States

Today, my mom went through my drawers and found some antibiotics from Planned Parenthood. She immediately flew into a rage and told my whole family, my aunts, and her church that I was a “loose woman with a horrible disease.” The antibiotics were to treat bacterial vaginosis, not an STD at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 135

You deserved it 133

By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 23:01 - United States

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 928

You deserved it 3 037

Great mom you got there

By Anonymous - 13/02/2021 05:01

Today, I felt an intense pain in my abdomen, so my mom drove me to the hospital. When we were in the waiting room, she rudely said, "It's probably an STD since you're such a slut." And then she left me there. It was a kidney infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 043

You deserved it 172

Call CPS!

By leovaldez - 22/06/2020 20:08

Today, after years of having seasonal allergies and months of having my throat close up, my mom agreed to see a doctor, only to insult me in front of the doctor, saying I just find new ways to make their lives harder and I'm probably making it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 817

You deserved it 122

By STIdiot - 17/10/2011 12:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care of a cracked tooth. He's convinced it was actually caused by an STD, and accused me of giving it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 734

You deserved it 3 683

Thanks for your support

By SocialSuicide - 17/11/2021 04:58

Today, I've been bedridden for 2 weeks. My mother, a very busy woman who lives 30 minutes away, took me to the doctor's office, which is barely 2 minutes across town. Turns out I have strep, and a bad ear infection. My loving boyfriend of 6 years, who lives with me, just told me to take a hot shower and I'd feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 212

Sad but true

By mcginnismr - 13/05/2016 22:57

Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 267

You deserved it 1 374

Can't talk right now

By Anonymous - 03/07/2021 08:01 - Canada

Today, while I was getting a blowjob from my girlfriend in the shower, my mom stood outside the door the whole time, asking me about my day. My girlfriend never stopped going, and my mom, who was unaware that my girl was with me in the shower, is now getting me tested for speech impairment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 672

By BadLuckBetty - 09/08/2016 11:33 - United States - Millville

Today, after weeks of flirting with the hot guy at the gym, he finally asked me to meet up with him outside. I was diagnosed with strep throat just hours before our date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 005

You deserved it 1 555

AbstraktThoughts 13

Friday 28 June 2013 2:18

Was she speaking from experience? ;)

xXHollowIchigoXx 17

Friday 28 June 2013 2:18

Cough on your mothers food. Then accuse her of whoring around. Just for laughs though.

Comments

perdix 29

Friday 28 June 2013 2:49

Tell her that's impossible -- tell her that you Purel every dick, every time.

graceinsheepwear 33

Friday 28 June 2013 6:04

Sage advice.

whiplash2289 19

Friday 28 June 2013 17:40

I'm sorry but I wouldn't let a girl purel my dick even with the promise of a blowie. If she's not careful that would sting like hell.

Juneyah1017 9

Friday 28 June 2013 3:03

Wow.. That blows.

KevinFlynn 13

Friday 28 June 2013 3:26

wonderful mom ya got there. others would say "well she would know" but not me. your mom is just a bitch

graceinsheepwear 33

Friday 28 June 2013 3:53

Mom is confusing strep with pharyngeal (oral) gonorrhea. Set her straight with the facts.

morbid1 2

Friday 28 June 2013 4:15

*****

ottokat 15

Friday 28 June 2013 4:20

Well would you look who missed a. grade or five

Soniye 14

Friday 28 June 2013 4:24

Ignorance at it's best !

EmsyyyRose13 24

Friday 28 June 2013 4:27

You gotta wonder where she heard that.

tazmanmike2013 17

Friday 28 June 2013 5:03

That sucks OP, FYL. Sounds like your mom needs to attend Sex Ed classes. I wonder if she thinks you can get pregnant from kissing! Lol

shins 7

Friday 28 June 2013 5:08

She's gonna flip if you get tonsillitis

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The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 636

You deserved it 1 195

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 422

You deserved it 55 330

The Top

Today, I taught my 18 month-old daughter to wipe the green, snotty mucus from under her nose with a tissue. To which, like a ninja, she then wiped my open-mouthed upper lip with that same snotty tissue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 195

Today, as a security guard, I caught a kid shoplifting and confronted him. He ran circles around me for almost 5 minutes, then picked me up and dumped me in a builders' skip before escaping. To add to my humiliation, my boss questioned my suitability for the job, and advised me to update my CV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 844

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 512

You deserved it 59 433

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 333

You deserved it 3 026

Today, I posted a question on a forum asking if my week-old nipple piercing would get hooked on anything easily. People assured me that it would be fine. An hour later, I had to climb over a wall to get something and in lowering myself down I forgot about it and dragged my nipple along the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 698

You deserved it 29 698

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 147

You deserved it 2 650