Miscellaneous: Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture....

By Anonymous - 25/01/2012 17:21 - United States

Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 371

You deserved it 6 465

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:14 - United States

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 337

You deserved it 4 365

Damn

By suicide - 04/02/2009 15:48 - United States

Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was OK. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 808

You deserved it 33 867

By wheezy - 03/12/2013 17:28 - United States - Bay Springs

Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 925

You deserved it 4 221

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 937

You deserved it 44 867

Good initiative

By cough - 27/12/2019 14:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 744

You deserved it 233

By ohmigodimchokin - 19/11/2009 00:19 - United States

Today, I was sitting at lunch and started choking on a chip. I couldn't breathe and nobody tried to help me. Having to take matters into my own hands, I reached for a juice box that belonged to someone sitting next to me. After I could breathe again, they informed me that they had mono. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 124

You deserved it 5 002

By megan - 01/04/2015 17:56 - United States - Lutz

Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 208

You deserved it 2 474

By quietdown - 30/05/2009 19:50 - United States

Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 039

You deserved it 4 759

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 260

Emergency

By swaiteATC - 28/07/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the Heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 333

You deserved it 2 666

enonymous 8

Wednesday 25 January 2012 22:13

Your death is affecting his GPA be kind and just die quietly... Library style

almost34 4

Wednesday 25 January 2012 22:12

Choke him

Comments

HattedMad 7

Thursday 26 January 2012 4:40

Guess you weren't flailing enough

zebrastripez13 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 6:52

Aw:( what an ass!

jaystreet46 4

Thursday 26 January 2012 6:52

Maybe if you weren't such a drama queen??

goddamniluvme 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 7:19

Maybe u should drink like a normal person! ;p

Luunatic 13

Thursday 26 January 2012 7:32

Wow ******* asshole

WolfHound8650 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 7:51

you should have said something to embarrass him loudly like, "no, i dont think little boys are cute...."

AwkwardHaole808 16

Thursday 26 January 2012 7:58

Or possibly, "No I don't want to see your penis!"

AwkwardHaole808 16

Thursday 26 January 2012 8:00

Well if you needed a place to spit it out, I'd recommend on him...

J9DeeZy 4

Thursday 26 January 2012 12:32

Should have dumped the rest of the water on his head and said something like "sorry, I can assure you I won't choke on my drink again"

Newzealeb 3

Thursday 26 January 2012 15:27

You should've yelled out "No I will not make out with you" and slapped him during the lecture . That'll teach the prick .

andiiturtle 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 16:02

U should of coughed all over him -.-

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Teenagers Animals Dogs Gamers

The Top

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 9 653

Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, I was snuggling in bed with my girlfriend. She was depressed, so I complimented her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 491

You deserved it 77 756

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 415

You deserved it 85 255

Today, I'm pretty sure my sister is being catfished. Now I have the choice of either telling her and risking her staying with her abusive husband or letting her think her new "boyfriend" is a good guy who didn't just "accidentally" send me a shower picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 019

You deserved it 889

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 051

You deserved it 8 849

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 760

You deserved it 1 184

Today, I decided I would finally get up and weed our front yard. After a long couple of hours, I was hot and sweaty and decided to jump in the pool, with all my clothes on, just for fun. Right as I was in the air doing a cannon ball, my BlackBerry started to ring from my pocket... FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 745

You deserved it 57 254