Animals: Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out...

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 20:22 - Spain - Valencia

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 297

You deserved it 9 389

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Gone bird

By Whoops - 06/06/2011 01:44 - United States

Today, while driving with my three year-old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 744

You deserved it 4 534

By Wellthisishawkward - 14/08/2015 22:40 - United States

Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 742

You deserved it 2 902

By Anonymous - 11/04/2014 20:07 - Switzerland

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 138

You deserved it 3 849

By reb2632 - 29/05/2009 20:13 - United States

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 081

You deserved it 12 730

By gbabyy - 22/11/2009 03:25 - United States

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 747

You deserved it 6 902

By nothingisreal69 - 01/03/2011 22:21 - Reserved

Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 309

You deserved it 13 363

By Anna - 15/06/2012 09:43 - United States - Buellton

Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 770

You deserved it 51 776

Tippi Hedren strikes back

By B_and_W - 21/11/2013 11:35 - France

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 026

You deserved it 4 948

By Oily - 16/12/2011 09:08 - New Zealand

Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 223

You deserved it 14 448

Clever

By FMLTIMESTWO - 10/06/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 557

You deserved it 61 972

JessieTaft 17

Saturday 28 June 2014 1:24

Great start to the day.

TheGriizlyBear 22

Saturday 28 June 2014 1:26

More Dora, less Family Guy

Comments

MrSweeps 5

Saturday 28 June 2014 19:27

Lmao Just fyi, there are no bad children. Not initially. Everything about them is determined by their upbringing, and who does it. Don't want your children to curse? Don't expose them to it

Helldemon 32

Saturday 28 June 2014 20:38

Yup, just don't let them go to school, or go out with friends. Hell, you might as well keep them in your house 24 hours a day 7 days a week cause that's about the only way to not expose them to cursing.

krunchy_kitty 8

Saturday 28 June 2014 23:49

*Everything* is determined by upbringing? You should probably read up on genetics.

Quantreyvious 6

Saturday 28 June 2014 21:19

It's so sad that parents are this bad at parenting.......

limabeans101029 20

Saturday 28 June 2014 22:08

It's not always to do with "bad parenting". Kids pick up these words and attitudes in loads of places. At school, on tv, in movies, other adults, etc. It's not always the parents' fault.

Alyxi 20

Sunday 29 June 2014 14:30

I had to have 'the talk' with my 7 year old step daughter because of some kid at her school that is in the SAME GRADE as her that knew Way too much about the topic. It's not always the parents. We Have to send them to school and no matter how much you try to cover everything there's always SOMETHING there that you'll miss and it puts some idea in their heads... and lets face it, kids are smart and Will pick up anything, even a stranger talking in the next isle while you shop for example.