Kids: Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down,...

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 01:32 - United States

Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 398

You deserved it 4 383

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

I've just got one of those faces

By Eric Rivera - 29/01/2021 23:01 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, while walking to the corner store, I noticed a car full of teenage girls. As I got closer to the store, one of them who was still getting in, says, "Hurry, here comes a pedo!" I turned to look and see who they were talking about, but there was no one behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 155

By Fat Dad - 03/03/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 654

You deserved it 43 811

You people are twisted!

By pledonasm - 15/03/2015 16:11 - India - Thane

Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 097

You deserved it 2 273

Close shave

By eyeamcool - 17/04/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, the police posted a description of the car of a child abductor. As everyone slowed down to read the billboard, I realized that the car's description and license plate were very similar to mine. After getting death stares from passengers, I got pulled over. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 559

You deserved it 2 718

Suspicious activity

By omgn00blolz89 - 07/04/2009 00:42 - United States

Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 580

You deserved it 3 765

By _whyy_mee - 02/07/2015 18:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my neighbor yelled at me for driving recklessly. I was going 35 mph, and she was stopped in the middle of a road around a blind curve. My "reckless driving" was slamming on the brakes so I wouldn't hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 814

You deserved it 1 969

Road rage

By Anonymous - 07/04/2024 00:00 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I had a “Fuck you” shouting match with a guy who'd tailgated me in the slow lane through an active school zone. I flipped him off when he finally passed, which admittedly wasn’t my best move. He ended up beside me, windows down, where we verbally sparred like teenagers in a dick swinging contest. Regrettably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 555

By Sedici - 18/12/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 344

You deserved it 2 577

By Anonymous - 24/08/2011 06:34 - Canada

Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 303

You deserved it 9 558

Oh, the irony

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I called the police regarding people speeding down my street, because I was worried for my young kids. On the way home from my daughter's ballet class, I got pulled over two blocks away from my house and got a $150 speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 802

You deserved it 118 651

null_fml 11

Saturday 19 September 2009 10:05

A woman got mistakenly called a pedophile? *wipes tear* We've made such progress in equality...

KJRx 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 9:54

lol @ #1. So slowing down because you don't want to hit children while driving, means you're a pedophile? wow. You should've just mauled some kid over. jk.

Comments

FoundManyLemons 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 22:05

OMG

glostik 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 7:36

Well, if you went fast, the father would say, "Slow down you f***ing jerk-off!" So, you were screwed either way...

anil6057 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 7:49

omg stop fighting about some stupid website. you don't have to impose your views on every you come in contact with! seriously!

HeroicDude 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 9:42

He probably just want to trade pics with you.

ban4023 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 22:51

haha lol that is funny

dave311 0

Monday 21 September 2009 3:36

try not to lick your lips when you drive by next time

monkeykiller77 0

Monday 21 September 2009 5:32

**** overprotective parents damn republicans

primogen18 0

Monday 21 September 2009 17:30

Overprotective parents are such a pain, and I am glad nobody thought this was fake, I 100% believe it. I was walking with my MP3 player (which is JUST an mp3 player, nothing else or fancy). I was walking near an elementary school where kids and parents were swarming around ( I guess they were getting out). Like normal I was listening to music like any other walk, and it was getting to the end of my one playlist, so I was slowing down to take it out and watching what song came on last, then stopped to switch to a new one. In the maybe 3 seconds it took me to do all this, a woman I walked by said "excuse me, what are you doing? Are you taking pictures of my daughter? I think you should move along!". This was said very loudly in front of many many parents and children, so now I guess I shouldn't be walking that way anymore around any time kids are getting out of school for fear of embarrassment and being remembered as "the guy (im college age btw) who walks by and takes pictures of kids" . Geeze, sorry for not wanting to slam into anyone while looking down at my MP3 player and stopping for a sec or 2.

gypsyzambie 2

Monday 21 September 2009 20:07

this is the part where you turn around, and chase the guy with your car while yelling at him to watch where he's going

pernicat 0

Monday 21 September 2009 22:22

It really is unfortunate how overly fearful some parents are. They act as if sexual predators are everywhere just waiting for the right opportunity to snatch a child. Yet the odds of a child actually being nabbed by a pedophile are very low. About 90 percent of cases of sexual abuse are from someone close to the family.

PCessna 0

Friday 25 September 2009 23:01

Didn't you say something to the PoS mother? If someone here in New York did that to me, I'd ream that woman out, I'd be like loudly in front of everyone, "Hey, you want to accuse me? This is a music player, SEE? Where's the camera? Point it out for me please." and embarrass her right back in front of everybody.