Kids: Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down,...

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 01:32 - United States

Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 398

You deserved it 4 383

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Same thing different taste

I've just got one of those faces

By Eric Rivera - 29/01/2021 23:01 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, while walking to the corner store, I noticed a car full of teenage girls. As I got closer to the store, one of them who was still getting in, says, "Hurry, here comes a pedo!" I turned to look and see who they were talking about, but there was no one behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 155

By Fat Dad - 03/03/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 654

You deserved it 43 811

You people are twisted!

By pledonasm - 15/03/2015 16:11 - India - Thane

Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 097

You deserved it 2 273

Close shave

By eyeamcool - 17/04/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, the police posted a description of the car of a child abductor. As everyone slowed down to read the billboard, I realized that the car's description and license plate were very similar to mine. After getting death stares from passengers, I got pulled over. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 559

You deserved it 2 718

Suspicious activity

By omgn00blolz89 - 07/04/2009 00:42 - United States

Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 580

You deserved it 3 765

By _whyy_mee - 02/07/2015 18:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my neighbor yelled at me for driving recklessly. I was going 35 mph, and she was stopped in the middle of a road around a blind curve. My "reckless driving" was slamming on the brakes so I wouldn't hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 814

You deserved it 1 969

Road rage

By Anonymous - 07/04/2024 00:00 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I had a “Fuck you” shouting match with a guy who'd tailgated me in the slow lane through an active school zone. I flipped him off when he finally passed, which admittedly wasn’t my best move. He ended up beside me, windows down, where we verbally sparred like teenagers in a dick swinging contest. Regrettably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 555

By Sedici - 18/12/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 344

You deserved it 2 577

By Anonymous - 24/08/2011 06:34 - Canada

Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 303

You deserved it 9 558

Oh, the irony

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I called the police regarding people speeding down my street, because I was worried for my young kids. On the way home from my daughter's ballet class, I got pulled over two blocks away from my house and got a $150 speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 802

You deserved it 118 651

null_fml 11

Saturday 19 September 2009 10:05

A woman got mistakenly called a pedophile? *wipes tear* We've made such progress in equality...

KJRx 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 9:54

lol @ #1. So slowing down because you don't want to hit children while driving, means you're a pedophile? wow. You should've just mauled some kid over. jk.

Comments

iheartjustinsane 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 15:38

Then that guy belongs in a mental institution.

plexico 3

Saturday 19 September 2009 15:38

It wouldn't have been a problem if you hadn't slowed down to 3 mph, fondled your breasts and asked every little boy, "Got milk?" I'd find that nice, personally, but it might irritate some parents.

iheartjustinsane 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 15:40

Death wishes don't make you any better than dragonkiller. =)

Intoxicunt 5

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:41

Um, we really don't care what some anonymous person thinks. He shouldn't either, for that matter, but I felt like telling him. So I did. Maybe HE shouldn't have started freaking out on Witchcraft for her valid, reasonable comment. I personally do think I'm better than him. If you don't, that's your opinion. Oh hey... Dragon dude, GO DIE. There.

Witchcraft_fml 4

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:46

If you're a troll, you're at the bottom. So yes it does :)

iheartjustinsane 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 4:53

I wasn't going on either sides of the argument. Infact, I thought what dragonkiller said was uncalled for and immature. But I was just saying that so are death wishes. And yes, it's my opinion, and I have the right to say it. If you don't like it, too bad.

Squirrellord911 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 17:10

quick back up!

Gir711 0

Monday 21 September 2009 16:46

I agree with #60. Say you didn't see him. Not your fault he was chasing a car.

Suj 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 17:45

OT I'll be honest, I'd of goten out of the car, and politely asked that guy if he can read, when he looks at you confused and says "YES OF COURSE I CAN F****** READ YOU F****** ****** *** ** *" you calmly ask him to turn around, and read the sing, while he's doing that, calling himself a "F****** Idiot" under his breath and walking away all embarrassed, you step back into your car, and drive away... you can laugh about it later to all your friends XD.

puddinpowder 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 18:14

wow, quite possibly the best FmyLife yet. Congrats?

glock17wielder 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 19:33

Great. You have neighborhoods where people shoot paintballs at you for driving too fast and now you have neighborhoods where people run you out for driving too slowly. If I were you, I'd have done a nice, long burnout and left those self-righteous bastards eat rubber smoke.

blastvortex 3

Saturday 19 September 2009 19:37

No good deed goes unpunished, you know. =p Coincidentally, considering that he's a paranoid father having dirty thoughts about his own kids... it kinda makes you wonder, doesn't it?