Miscellaneous: Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to...

By brownieswillneverbethesame - 04/09/2011 06:18 - United States

Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to discover an inch long piece of what resembled dead skin in the middle of it. This discovery was only made after taking a bite and wondering why the consistency was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 153

You deserved it 2 477

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Same thing different taste

Masterchef 2020

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 18:58 - United States - Maryville

Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 66

Random Access Memories

By Anonymous - 18/10/2021 17:00

Today, I learned the horrifying implications of my memory not being what it used to be when I bought a tasty-looking chocolate bar, only to realize upon taking a bite that I'd bought one before and not liked it one bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 292

By Anonymous - 11/07/2017 14:40 - United States - Higginsville

Today, I was feeling down and decided to eat one of my roommate's chocolate Pop-Tarts to cheer myself up. I took a big bite and thought it tasted "off". It was full of live maggots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 244

You deserved it 2 654

By Anonymous - 25/11/2018 12:00

Today, I was celebrating my birthday when my friend gave me chocolate as a gift. I wasn't suspecting anything and ate about half of it before I noticed something strange. It turned out there were some kind of worms living in it and the chocolate was about a year after the expiration date. I got sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 051

You deserved it 266

Fermentation

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 08:28 - United States

Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 732

You deserved it 40 818

By Anonymous - 10/02/2016 18:36 - United States - Milford

Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 328

You deserved it 2 015

Thanks

By badeats - 22/06/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, I visited my grandma. She offered me some chips in a Ziploc bag. I thought they were sour cream and onion chips from the look of them. They tasted funny, but I didn't want to be rude and I kept eating. I looked closer after a while and noticed that what I thought were chives was actually mold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 603

You deserved it 9 303

By MaggotMother - 20/04/2013 10:51 - United States

Today, I learned what live maggots in chocolate cake taste like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 494

You deserved it 7 605

Pizza party

By Newly Minted Canuck - 22/04/2017 20:00

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 4 694

By Rachel - 02/02/2009 22:00 - United States

Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 263

You deserved it 3 293

lendalynn 5

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:04

I just threw up a little.....

perdix 29

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:15

. . . and Grandpa's missing, and Grandma seems uncharacteristically cheery.

Comments

dragoongirl90 34

Monday 22 June 2015 22:05

It was probably unmixed egg. That can have a dead skin consistency.

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The Top

Today, my adult daughter was hospitalized for severe fever, diarrhea, and fainting. The doctor couldn't find any cause other than sleep deprivation, because I started making her wake up at 7 am. I’ve never met anyone so ridiculously weak in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 720

Here's another FML video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com. Enjoy! Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tre...

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 39

The Top

Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 456

You deserved it 34 644

Today, my daughter admitted that she sometimes forgets her own name upon waking. She’s 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 147

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 586

You deserved it 3 860

Today, my manager called when I was watching porn. I picked up after pausing the video, but somehow the video kept playing. I'm pretty sure she definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 1 376

Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 286

You deserved it 2 937

Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 566

You deserved it 9 449