Miscellaneous: Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told...

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By Anonymous - 11/07/2013 17:08 - United States - Fresno

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 706

You deserved it 54 249

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Same thing different taste

By SMS123 - 25/06/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 487

You deserved it 4 791

By Nat - 13/09/2014 06:29 - United States - Frisco

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 522

You deserved it 18 711

By Toomuchisoutofcontrol - 21/01/2017 08:00

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend. I'm usually in control and do my own thing. He tried taking control and I ended throwing up on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 605

You deserved it 1 016

By serendipity1027 - 30/10/2010 13:40 - France

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 830

You deserved it 8 896

By 50sStyle - 12/06/2017 19:00 - United States - Hartland

Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 596

You deserved it 418

By UUUGHHH - 05/02/2016 20:33 - France - Villejuif

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 177

You deserved it 2 724

Choked

By embarrassing - 15/07/2021 18:01

Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 162

Ouch

By Anonymous - 14/12/2011 23:12 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 655

You deserved it 29 380

By Aphrodite - 23/01/2010 21:13 - France

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, when the Taco Bell I'd eaten for lunch came back up for round two. Undigested rice and beans got stuck in his hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 146

You deserved it 7 746

Kinky

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 799

You deserved it 7 881

Drifting 21

Friday 12 July 2013 2:45

I wanna say YDI for trying to make eating a corn dog sexual...lol

Zimmington 21

Friday 12 July 2013 2:45

You need to work on that gag reflex

Comments

zeuslovesyaoi 17

Friday 12 July 2013 7:51

squeeze your thuumb!

ThePaul007 14

Friday 12 July 2013 8:35

Oh my gosh that's terrible, still YDI.

JayySkyline 15

Friday 12 July 2013 9:18

Well then...

Fmlsea 28

Friday 12 July 2013 9:50

Well least he knows to never ask for that again :p

arre2006 19

Friday 12 July 2013 12:58

You must be terrible in the sack then

toorudett 11

Friday 12 July 2013 16:11

Because she can't deepthroat a corn dog due to a natural reaction? I didn't realize those were replicas of penises either.

Spyfiction 6

Friday 12 July 2013 16:29

I've seen this before... "1 girl 1 corn dog"

nevaeh_dewdrop 12

Friday 12 July 2013 18:22

why, just why?

sonnyrosa 32

Friday 12 July 2013 22:25

Sexy... good girl... you've effectively thrown him off both corndogs and ******** for a while

phatdaddy62 23

Saturday 13 July 2013 21:25

Nothing throws guys off of ********.

Uniqueview 2

Friday 12 July 2013 23:31

Waste of a good corn dog.

courtz94 24

Saturday 13 July 2013 0:48

The behavior of some people truly entertains me.

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The Top

Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 465

You deserved it 42 619

Today, I gave my friend what I thought was the perfect birthday gift, a personalized mug with her favourite quote. When she opened it, she looked confused so I explained. Then she said, "I’ve never ever said that." I realized I'd printed a quote from a completely different friend. I awkwardly told her, “Well, now you have something new to say!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 581

The Top

Today, I had an argument over whether or not I should buy some flowers. With myself. Out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 262

You deserved it 29 465

Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 831

You deserved it 3 272

Today, I got up at 3:15 a.m. to be ready for work at 5 a.m. I get to my work station to find absolutely no work to do. After talking with my boss, I was sent home with no pay. If I'd been employed there 3 weeks longer, I would've been paid for 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 153

Today, I called complaints for my internet provider because, again, it's slowed to a crawl that would make dial-up laugh. They said that I live in a remote area, so maintenance is difficult. When I pointed out I only live ten minutes from the nearest city, they responded by saying they're my only option, so tough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 109

Today, while I was working at McDonald’s, a customer ordered the Shamrock Shake. I told him that due to supply chain issues, it was sold out. He threw a tantrum, then blamed all of us for, “Putting Sleepy Joe in office.” He stormed out, yelling, “Let’s go Brandon.” I don’t get paid enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 240

Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentine's Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 699

You deserved it 3 167

Same thing different taste

Choked

Ouch

Kinky

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