LOL at #12, good call. Yeah, if your boss actually fired you for doing your job, then he/she is an idiot. And the parents... I mean, come on, aren't most parents if anything a little TOO protective of their kids? If I had my children at the pool I'd want every lifeguard there watching them the entire time. It's not like he could do anything to them in broad daylight in public even if he WAS a pedo.

Wow you really don't get it do you glockjaw. This comment is my last to you since everything I say you just seem to not understand. I "bragged" about my education since you decided to use comments like "thinks he's smart" as a way to condescend me. I'm actually a very humble, honest person. Being in the top 1% for my school isn't super-awesome in this thing called life but I just thought you may want to know since you seem to have this image of me as some stupid, anti-social asshole stoner. Just thought you needed to get your facts straight first. As for me getting literal on your tampon comment yes I will. I don't care if your using a metaphor since I obviously don't believe your truly throwing shit from your mouth (if you LITERALLY are you better get a doctor to check that out) just that your portraying yourself as a negative kid. Life lesson: You catch more bees with honey than vinegar (i.e. don't be so negative towards other people). As for the Mask, it's a dead horse. We could substitute Looney Toons in general and my first comment is then valid by your account. I was trying to make a joke that obviously went over your head. And to argue with someone half my age really doesn't bother me. It's the lack of compassion, understanding and reasoning from you that really upsets me. I'm all for listening to other views but usually will tune people like you out that go for the if you can't beat em, drag em through the mud mentality. If you'd like to talk like a big boy which obviously you want to you need to learn that you can't just call people dumbass or "oh isn't he 'smart'" and expect to get away with it. Life will hand you your ass if you treat people like that in real life. I'd like you to meet my friend someday. He's a little crazy so when you make one offhand comment and he punches his fist through your face. I hope when you wake up from the coma that you taste the humble pie. Until then have fun responding but I'm done arguing with a fool. Because honestly the only thing our little rant is doing is bothering the other people that came here to read some FML stories. "Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference"

Alright man, it was nice arguing with you. I'm glad you took it to heart and got really pissed off. I hope you now know that your joke was ******* retarded. You like shitty movies, you take things wayyy too seriously and literal, and you are very flip floppy when it comes to making your point. Notice how you changed your attack on the tampon comment? And I believe I was very reasonable in all my responses. You just copied me and topped it off with your holier than thou complex. Pax.

lol Im a lifeguard to and one day an old lady yelled at me telling me to stop staring!

Yo, nomadxx7, glockjaw, kennyboy. Chill the hell out! You're supposed to be commenting on this dude's FML, not getting into little internet pissing contests. If you disagree with each other, say it, but stick to the topic.

OK, glockjaw, nomad, whoever all the rest of you are getting into it, just shut the hell up. "Today, I went onto FML and got into an argument over the internet with someone over something stupid. I just found out I'm a cyber-banger. FML" And that realization should make you both say **** My Life. Thank you for your time.

Oh, and as for comedians, my favorite is Nick Swardson.

Boss should have understood that!

dude havent you herd of sunglasses?!?

so what if you're a lifeguard. If someone thinks you're staring at your kids suspiciously (especially in a pool), then that person is probably basing it on some solid grounds...