By Lifeguard - 04/04/2009 19:03 - United States

Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML
I agree, your life sucks 92 550
You deserved it 4 497

Same thing different taste

Top comments

You couldn't have explained that to your boss? All lifeguards have to watch the kids in the pool. It's part of the job description...

Comments

kennyboy 0

Dude glockjaw ur so right about the tampons thing lol. And how he almost tells us his life story. god what a fag that fool is

So that's why you became a lifeguard...

Me thinks that glockjaw and kennyboy may be the same person. Kennyboy has 3 visits to the site and only 2 posts to this one long comment? Something smells fishy. Anyways I think glockjaw and kennyboy (er I mean just glockjaw since kennyboy seems to be an alias account) needs some Depends. You both seem to have verbal diarrhea. Sorry that my comparison using my father and explaining how ****** up we've become and that this FML fits very neatly into my comment is bothering you. Your very first comment seemed to hinge on my comment about the tongue hanging out which set your blood boiling. I assumed that you were making comments about that. Plus the Mask was cartoonish. Didn't you realize Jim Carey's character was an exaggeration of cartoons in general? That was his Mask persona. May want to watch again if you missed that. As for being anti-social, I'm anything but. I'd venture to guess that you possibly are anti-social given your instant crass remarks and negativity in general. Most often than not people don't want to hang around with your type since you usually just shit on people and ultimately make people feel bad. Remember negative energy = negative consequences. You attract what you put off and you're reeking of negative vibes man. Take a chill pill, smoke a bowl and then get back to me when you've calmed down or taken your meds.

Oh god, Parents are disgusting these days, I'm a lifeguard as well and its pretty much a requirement for us to be looking at children in order to see if they're strugging to stay above water. As for the manager, they're probably a pushover or a pussy afraid of anyone with more power than them.

glockjaw 0

Lmao bro, first of all we're not the same person. That kenny dude is obviously some little kid excited that he can curse freely on the internet wherever he goes. But good try. I can't believe that you, some uptight anti-social asshole, would smoke weed. You're the reason everyone thinks stoners are retarded. You're stupid tangents about bullshit are why no one respects us. Like I said, Jim Carey sucks ass. You wan't real comedy? Watch Michael Ian Black, Michael Showalter, David Wain. Maybe the Flight of the Conchords? Katt Williams? And the Mask being cartoonish doesn't mean its a cartoon. He may have had cartoonish personas but I didn't read that much into his personas being some exaggerated critique of cartoons when i watched it like 13 years ago. Spongebob is a cartoon. There are plenty of other better comparisons. My favorite part about your responses is how you just reword what I say and use it against me. Like my bit about the mouth tampons vs. yours about verbal diarrhea? Come on bro, my shit made you laugh but yours is like just a pathetic attempt at mirroring mine.

@kennyboy You're really not worth responding to but I'd like to stick up for panime since I think you need a reality check. Here's another life story... my friend knows more about Final Fantasy and Dragonball Z than a lot of nerds. He has his own house, a girlfriend, his own business and is a generally cool dude to hang around. What about him? Does he have no life since he knows anime? Is it really that hard to understand that people fancy different things than you? Plus I'd rather hang out with people like him than people like you since you don't quite comprehend that good people come from all walks of life. I'd really like to know what you've done in your life that allows you the ability to condescend other people? Did you find the cure to AIDS or find the next alternative energy source? Are you rich from making the best thing since sliced bread? Honestly what is the best thing you've done with your life? You both (glockjaw and kennyboy) may want to just chill out because you guys are acting like bigots. Hate other people's comments so you just try to defame their character. Jerks.

Hahahaahah stupid lady u were doing the right thing tho

@glockjaw You need to get some better weed bro. Stop smoking the dirt. I'd love to figure out where in my comments I portray myself as an uptight anti-social asshole. Seeing that I'm making comments that others seem to agree with and only a few don't agree with. That doesn't seem very anti-social to me but I guess I'm wrong. As for the Mask, it had elements to portray it in a comedic, cartoonish light. Look at him in general. The wolf face, the guns he had it was all Looney Toons type comedy. As for your tampon comment, I did reword it because yours is actually wrong or dumb I can't decide. Tampons soak up blood. Depends soak up piss and shit. Unless your mouth is bleeding than a tampon is needed. However, my comment about Depends is really one because your slinging the shit from your mouth. See how my Depends comment makes more sense? But if you feel that your tampon comparison is by far the better analogy than go for it. I think it's dumb because it logically doesn't make sense. Oh and for being a dumbass I graduated 3rd in my class with high honors in math and science. What was your contribution in school?

glockjaw 0

Look at you getting technical and shit! The Mask was not a cartoon. Get over it. 3rd in your class? That's great man I'm really proud of ya, its a shame it wasn't 1st though. You know that number that actually does count? So you're getting literal in attacking my tampon comment. And yet obviously the shit being slung from my mouth is metaphorical. Therefore your Depends comment doesn't literally make sense either. Obviously I was using it as a metaphor just like when you hear people say to a bitchy girl "she needs to change her tampon."The tampon represents a period, which represents bitchiness.Honestly, I didn't even know what Depends was til you just explained it. I've never had the use for it, actually.. You stooped as low as to brag about how you did in school? Honestly man in the long run who really gives a shit. 3rd in your class doesn't mean you start making a shitload of money automatically so I don't know why you felt the need to brag.

glockjaw 0

And sorry to break it to ya, I am not done with school yet so I can't brag about my future accomplishments, ya dig? How does it feel to argue with someone who's probably half your age! Hah, asshole.