Intimacy: Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit...

By Bawo - 02/06/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 070

You deserved it 33 988

When Christmas Ends Badly…
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Same thing different taste

Sexy time

By Msmerfner - 03/08/2013 08:40 - United States - Hemet

Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 482

You deserved it 16 105

By LadySteph12 - 29/10/2009 00:53 - Canada

Today, the guy I was seeing put candles all over his room to make things romantic. As we were getting it on, a plastic bag caught fire next to the bed. He had the brilliant idea to wave it around to put it out. Burning pieces of plastic landed on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 383

You deserved it 3 340

By CandlesSuck - 02/11/2009 03:44 - Canada

Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 820

You deserved it 29 365

It's getting hot in here…

By pmek - 26/03/2012 09:11 - Australia - Collingwood

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 472

You deserved it 3 299

You, your sex is on fire

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 18:00

Today, I mixed drunkenness with sensual oils, a lot of whiskey, a massage, and scented candles, which resulted in accidentally setting my husband's back hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 1 157

Smash

By Unintended Victim - 08/12/2022 02:00

Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 105

By blocked_by_fire - 17/04/2012 18:13 - United States - Pullman

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 738

You deserved it 4 518

By FMLFMLFMLFML - 29/05/2009 17:52 - United States

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 206

You deserved it 14 887

By shiiiiit - 15/11/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I was having trouble blowing out the last of the several candles on my bedside table. Exasperated, I blew as hard as I could, which sent hot wax from the other candles shooting into the air, all over my face and into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 172

You deserved it 12 532

By kaycie_lynn - 19/02/2010 01:11 - United States

Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 770

You deserved it 71 619

CryingHowls 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 9:33

that's hot ;)

Rldiamond90 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 9:28

lol we just found the plotline for Twoface: Origins

Comments

terrta_merrta 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 10:13

you can bet on anything that it was a very very hot moment

Lisimal 7

Tuesday 2 June 2009 10:16

#4: XD

erroneousx2 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 10:18

HAHAHAH me and my mom were just talking about something like this happening on her wedding day. But, that sucks.

24788 6

Tuesday 2 June 2009 10:20

HAHA, that really bites. FYL

kezzstar 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 10:26

Umm, oops? Hope your head is okay.

Diditf0rtheLULZ 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 10:31

I dont think anyone deserves that, shit happens, whats wrong with her trying to be seductive? Sorry about your head and hope your okay. :/

sophiepento 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 10:43

Ooooh burn, literally.

jittle8 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 10:46

rmujerita 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 10:48

#12 beat me to it. LMAO.

chelsiedee 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 11:30

Sooooo at least you had "hot" sex...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I finally got an interview for the job I want. The interviewer looked at my resumé and asked, "So, what have you been doing for the past 10 years?" I guess binge-watching Netflix wasn't the right answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 1 117

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 237

The Top

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper in a family member’s house. I looked around and found baby wipes. I was saved! Unfortunately, they were actually Clorox wipes. The bleach gave me a chemical burn in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 746

You deserved it 1 436

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 435

You deserved it 10 095

Today, I discovered a purple BMX bike abandoned in my front yard. I wondered why it was there, until I looked over to discover that my own bike had been stolen. I guess they liked mine better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 667

You deserved it 1 132

Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 028

You deserved it 40 330

Today, at Arby's, there were two cute guys behind me in line. Right before ordering, my dad said loudly "Go get the calorie sheet. You need to lose more weight before you think about going after those guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 971

You deserved it 5 376

Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worried he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I'd left the cash in the machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 599

You deserved it 83 457