Intimacy: Today, the guy I was seeing put candles all over his room to...

By LadySteph12 - 29/10/2009 00:53 - Canada

Today, the guy I was seeing put candles all over his room to make things romantic. As we were getting it on, a plastic bag caught fire next to the bed. He had the brilliant idea to wave it around to put it out. Burning pieces of plastic landed on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 380

You deserved it 3 340

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Bawo - 02/06/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 068

You deserved it 33 988

Sexy time

By Msmerfner - 03/08/2013 08:40 - United States - Hemet

Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 482

You deserved it 16 104

It's getting hot in here…

By pmek - 26/03/2012 09:11 - Australia - Collingwood

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 469

You deserved it 3 299

Great balls of fire

By Ouch - 19/01/2017 08:19

Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 995

You deserved it 2 038

By FMLFMLFMLFML - 29/05/2009 17:52 - United States

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 197

You deserved it 14 884

By CandlesSuck - 02/11/2009 03:44 - Canada

Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 820

You deserved it 29 363

By shiiiiit - 15/11/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I was having trouble blowing out the last of the several candles on my bedside table. Exasperated, I blew as hard as I could, which sent hot wax from the other candles shooting into the air, all over my face and into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 170

You deserved it 12 532

By Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 619

You deserved it 4 701

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 546

You deserved it 14 910

Hot hot hot

By Anonymous - 03/06/2022 12:00

Today, I'm in hospital. During date night, after sex was over, I reached for my whiskey. I was already so drunk, I accidentally picked up the lit candle which was in a glass roughly the same size as my whiskey glass, and poured melted wax in my mouth, up my nose, and in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 2 215

WhySoSrs 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 10:55

That made me laugh. Oh, well. It's the thought that counts, right? :D

Bloodknight 22

Thursday 29 October 2009 11:32

Haha wow, he really can turn on the charm can't he, bwahaha!

Comments

haleystarship 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 10:04

Is Haley 1st? i'd think so

KyleSays1 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 17:34

lol

ImsoMikhail 0

Friday 9 July 2010 4:18

I hope you die haley...

dakota_nikole 0

Monday 25 April 2011 19:03

just comment on the FML

Matt_greener 8

Saturday 13 October 2012 17:45

And 0 ***** were given that day.

WhySoSrs 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 10:55

That made me laugh. Oh, well. It's the thought that counts, right? :D

Urbanchiller 0

Sunday 25 March 2012 20:04

Fastest plastic surgery ever!

Bloodknight 22

Thursday 29 October 2009 11:32

Haha wow, he really can turn on the charm can't he, bwahaha!

bosshaug 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 11:45

God damn this is like the 20th fml this week about candles and "making things romantic"

Mx_Rider 6

Thursday 29 October 2009 11:54

tell her to open her legs im telling you man

Mx_Rider 6

Thursday 29 October 2009 11:58

i mean whats up with the candles see you burned ur gf almost or wife or whoever the f shes is i suggest you "Get straight to it like theres nothing to it"

haneki_fml 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 12:14

What's with people thinking their life sucks because they sustained minor injuries? Get over it, you probably already healed!

LadySteph12 0

Friday 30 October 2009 20:04

For the record, I submitted this over a month ago, and although the burns healed, I still have huge scars all over my right arm. So no, I don't think they're minor injuries...

perdix 29

Thursday 29 October 2009 13:38

I wouldn't be surprised if this guy gives you burning sensations elsewhere on your body. When you go to the doctor for your burns, get checked for VD :)