Miscellaneous: Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really...

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 20:15 - Canada

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 854

You deserved it 6 399

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Same thing different taste

Crafty

By Anonymous - 07/08/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 508

You deserved it 3 213

Parental advice

By Anonymous - 07/11/2023 06:00

Today, I was going on my first date. I was planning my outfit with my mom when my dad offered his advice. “That boy won’t care what outfit you’re wearing, just make sure you wear sexy underwear and carry a condom, guaranteed first date success. That’s how me and your mom got married, you know?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 121

By mothtal - 03/06/2012 16:13 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 563

You deserved it 2 266

By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 05:32 - United States

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 374

You deserved it 2 628

By quit fucking up my life - 23/11/2013 01:08 - United States - Kenai

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 658

You deserved it 4 922

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 22:37 - United States - Denison

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 178

You deserved it 4 401

By fridgemylifee - 13/08/2015 17:39 - United States

Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 485

You deserved it 2 985

By pdub523 - 27/01/2013 05:57 - United States - Longview

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 193

You deserved it 3 814

By firstdategoals - 08/06/2015 03:35 - United States

Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 176

You deserved it 3 883

By explanations - 14/06/2013 06:48 - United States - Des Plaines

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 645

You deserved it 7 941

shan789mudge 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:23

aww haha poor guy! =P

happy_me 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:24

awww poor guy :( fhl i hope you dont judge him for that only. I'd be ******** my pants too

Comments

featherhead 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:36

ahw, the poor boy..

BRBICECREAMTRUCK 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:36

He either has a really crazy imagination or hes just a pussy

venom7 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:37

haha.. are you serious! Stop being a pussy and next time you see the dad clean something scary infornt of him! lol ;)

eurghmylife 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:37

Thats HORRIBLEE :( id kill my dad!

luvable_loozer 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:37

so glad my dad wasn't a cop -- I'd prolly still be a virgin

meeeep 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:37

FYL for dating a guy that cries

Talia070 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:38

lolll .

ultimateshitter 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:38

ahahahaha dad: 1 you: 0

Emwo 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:38

Dad's are usually supposed to do that, aren't they? oh well, hopefully your date got the message when he took out the gun. Poor guy

anniesaysbueno 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:39

way to pick a man... did he say the tears were because it was his "time of the month"?

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Today, I’ve been getting a lot of strange messages from guys on the dating site I use, then I realised why: on my profile pic I'm sat down and you can see my nice underwear up my skirt. That explains the messages, they thought I was trolling for men to hump and dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 981

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 493

You deserved it 15 058

The Top

Today, I left my job, fulfilling my one month's notice after receiving a job offer from a much better-paying role. After saying goodbye to everyone, I left the building. Not two minutes later, the company who was offering the new job called to say they'd changed their minds, and there was now no longer a job on offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 636

You deserved it 142

Today, the people in my class wondered why I seem to avoid them. The same people who call me a creep and hide when they see me in public because of my disability. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 275

You deserved it 143

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 180

You deserved it 16 139

Today, while I was singing a song with my guitar at a college open mic, my eyes started to burn, causing me to tear up and stop playing. Everyone in the audience thought I'd actually started to cry mid-performance. I ended up having to leave the stage teary-eyed and embarrassed myself in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 155

Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of 2 years. He was on his laptop, and while he was on it I took off my shirt and bra, and gave him a hug from behind. What I didn't know was that he was video chatting his father the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 673

You deserved it 48 844

Today, it was one of those days when my housemates thinks they can bug me every five minutes when I'm trying to work from home. Doing this or talking about that, wrecking my train of thought on complicated work until it's a railyard of disaster. Is it five o'clock yet? FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 123

Same thing different taste

Crafty

Parental advice

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