Work: Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens....

By Australian Lifeguard - 22/10/2014 03:18 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 856

You deserved it 4 032

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 937

You deserved it 44 867

Bad moon rising

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Salem

Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 93

Baywatch

By Anonymous - 02/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 349

You deserved it 509

By kaitlyna15 - 01/08/2012 01:54 - United States - Bellevue

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 010

You deserved it 1 809

By heyyoitsapotato - 31/05/2013 02:35 - United States

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 136

You deserved it 3 300

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 445

You deserved it 7 721

By spaghett - 29/08/2016 20:32 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 162

You deserved it 1 821

STOP!

By lamelifeguard - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Morrison

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 096

You deserved it 4 473

By Anonymous - 29/05/2012 18:43 - United States - Springfield

Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 366

You deserved it 2 177

Little perv

By cplaner - 04/02/2009 12:56 - United States

Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 755

You deserved it 5 238

Queensland 27

Wednesday 22 October 2014 12:54

Lucky he's near water, cuz he sounds thirsty as ****.

Migillope 10

Wednesday 22 October 2014 12:39

That's just awkward.

Comments

GermanJew1942 2

Wednesday 22 October 2014 20:49

*lifeguard

XCanadianBloodX 6

Thursday 23 October 2014 0:06

That must have really SUCKED! (⬇️Insert more puns⬇️)

hk1998 8

Thursday 23 October 2014 0:11

Haha clever

megamandude455 10

Thursday 23 October 2014 0:58

I can't even begin to understand how that would even come close to making an iota of sense to that kid.

jrh517 9

Thursday 23 October 2014 8:42

You should have smiled deviously and said, "only 1 step back?"

anrsoul16 9

Friday 24 October 2014 23:26

You should have said, something along the lines of "just because you'll never have to worry about this doesn't mean you can interrupt me.

Visitant45 6

Saturday 25 October 2014 0:23

That is not a good comeback and I'm very glad they didn't say it. You should be ashamed.

ohSNAPyall 26

Sunday 26 October 2014 0:03

Fail him.

japtap81 16

Sunday 26 October 2014 18:09

She should have said u can't choke on thumbs.

ace666 8

Monday 3 November 2014 17:09

how could they choke on his tic tak

kickyourtitsin 12

Sunday 19 April 2015 17:37

Well it is Arizona

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

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I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 727

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I agree, your life sucks 92 747

You deserved it 17 915

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 26 316

You deserved it 1 887

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I agree, your life sucks 32 016

You deserved it 3 679

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I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 1 763

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I agree, your life sucks 56 939

You deserved it 3 601

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I agree, your life sucks 40 895

You deserved it 10 164

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I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 103