Work: Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens....

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By Australian Lifeguard - 22/10/2014 03:18 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 861

You deserved it 4 034

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 939

You deserved it 44 874

Bad moon rising

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Salem

Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 97

Baywatch

By Anonymous - 02/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 354

You deserved it 517

By kaitlyna15 - 01/08/2012 01:54 - United States - Bellevue

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 019

You deserved it 1 814

Honest mistake

By Anonymous - 02/12/2024 03:00 - Australia

Today, I mistook a coworker’s laughter for choking and performed the Heimlich maneuver on them in the break room. They weren’t choking, but now they’re afraid to laugh near me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 511

By heyyoitsapotato - 31/05/2013 02:35 - United States

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 143

You deserved it 3 303

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 449

You deserved it 7 723

By spaghett - 29/08/2016 20:32 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 167

You deserved it 1 828

STOP!

By lamelifeguard - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Morrison

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 104

You deserved it 4 474

By Anonymous - 29/05/2012 18:43 - United States - Springfield

Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 371

You deserved it 2 178

Queensland 27

Wednesday 22 October 2014 12:54

Lucky he's near water, cuz he sounds thirsty as ****.

Migillope 10

Wednesday 22 October 2014 12:39

That's just awkward.

Comments

LeBandit 20

Wednesday 22 October 2014 12:55

guilty...of using that joke at least once in my life

Demoniq 25

Wednesday 22 October 2014 12:56

The class clown should learn the hard way how dangerous choking is.

Meaniebobeanie 26

Thursday 23 October 2014 4:54

Was... That a pun??

Mynamewontfi 40

Wednesday 22 October 2014 12:58

I feel like an idiot for laughing at his comment. Still, inappropriate to make at an instructor.

_Schnitzel_ 4

Wednesday 22 October 2014 13:22

Rada rada rada

daydreamer244 13

Wednesday 22 October 2014 13:31

He saw a chance and took it.

bustyou 15

Wednesday 22 October 2014 13:51

Get her number

JackoJackson 8

Wednesday 22 October 2014 13:58

Only in Australia. Cant help but love us.

australianchick 8

Thursday 23 October 2014 12:24

Of course!

australianchick 8

Thursday 23 October 2014 12:27

Why wouldn't you love Aussies anyway, we're amazing

vikky538 28

Wednesday 22 October 2014 14:08

Don't you see...their mind is getting choked with stupidity....

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 22 October 2014 14:09

Change the wording next time...

siggy_mcsigx 22

Wednesday 22 October 2014 18:52

No.

lewkisapirate 1

Wednesday 22 October 2014 14:16

Wow, what a quick thinker!

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