Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started...

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By Anonymous - 29/01/2014 21:04 - United Kingdom - Wrexham

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 300

You deserved it 18 978

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Same thing different taste

By ryan - 10/02/2010 15:08 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 490

You deserved it 6 833

By pornhastaughtmenothing - 21/02/2013 08:46 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 419

You deserved it 11 655

Honest

By fml1977 - 04/03/2010 06:43 - United States

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 394

You deserved it 8 020

Really into it

By ThePopeMan - 17/03/2009 17:42 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 177

You deserved it 23 127

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 934

You deserved it 7 117

By Anonymous - 03/10/2010 01:34 - United States

Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 533

You deserved it 9 577

Feelings

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 00:46 - United States - Beaumont

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 618

You deserved it 9 804

By katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 998

You deserved it 19 180

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 794

You deserved it 15 190

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 867

You deserved it 6 272

tilly_llama 11

Thursday 30 January 2014 0:39

I am genuinely sorry.

Welshite 39

Thursday 30 January 2014 0:39

You two need to talk things out. There's obviously room for improvement on both your parts. Communication is key.

Comments

kder0aeon 9

Thursday 30 January 2014 2:20

lol at this but sorry man.

miss_mercy 15

Thursday 30 January 2014 4:02

OP is female.

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 30 January 2014 2:22

Well not intense for her...ask for pointers...she'll understand...or she was joking...

EvilLittleMan 23

Thursday 30 January 2014 3:18

Instant boner killer !

ElricMustang 23

Thursday 30 January 2014 8:21

If that were the case, OP and her girlfriend would have A LOT more they needed to talk about

shelglo 5

Thursday 30 January 2014 3:37

OP isn't a man based on the gender symbol people. I'd tell you if it's not intense anymore go buy some new toys & learn some tongue exercises!

skipper2009 18

Thursday 30 January 2014 3:41

If all women were that honest...

Turbo_Turtle 14

Thursday 30 January 2014 4:26

Stop. She may not be in the mood.

kdua114 2

Thursday 30 January 2014 4:33

Damn, something is wrong with you hahaha

amyfox1718 12

Thursday 30 January 2014 4:36

Maybe put her on top. That'll teach her ;)

KittenSandwich 9

Thursday 30 January 2014 5:05

I'm sorry OP sounds like you and her need to have a talk or find someone who will appreciate your effort.

Looneytune31 4

Thursday 30 January 2014 5:19

Who says that

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Today, I'm 55 and I've been with my 61 year-old hubs for 32 years. He has next to no sex drive. When I asked him to tell me what is attractive about me, he said I'm nice, witty, easy to talk to. I asked what physically is attractive about me. He said, "You're not gross and you're not obese." He then got mad at me when I started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 417

Today, my dad threw my boyfriend out of the house, and I mean 'Uncle Phil throwing Jazz out of the house' type of throwing. He picked him up, and he didn’t even touch the sides on his way out the door. He landed on the bonnet of his car, all because of an argument over a Mars bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 114

The Top

Today, I was in a work Zoom meeting that was supposed to end at 5 pm, which is my shift end time. It dragged after 5 pm so I decided to disconnect and leave to go home, since I don’t get paid overtime. My manager called demanding to know why I left early, said I was unprofessional, and fired me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 1 356

Today, I found out that I don't have to work tomorrow. Normally I would be thrilled to hear this, but not from the 6 o'clock news, doing a piece on my work's rat infestation and indefinite shut down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 988

You deserved it 1 400

Today, recent construction has created a manhole that cars slam over every single morning. This normally starts at 4 a.m. as people make their early commute on my busy street. With every car that hits it, there's a huge echoing slamming noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 690

You deserved it 924

Today, after spending over two hours cleaning my kitchen from top to bottom, my 5-year-old then runs in, yells, “Snowstorm!” and throws a bag of flour all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 117

Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 448

You deserved it 3 382

Today my wife told me she really wanted to have sex, and to wait in bed while she got ready. Turns out get ready means do the dishes, feed the dogs, clean the cat's litter tray, phone her sister, make coffee, shower, and wait for the dryer to dry her pyjamas. By the time she got in bed, I'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 1 090