Miscellaneous: Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop...

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By htothecr - 03/05/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 205

You deserved it 141 038

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Same thing different taste

By CH - 07/12/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 697

You deserved it 41 158

By Michelle - 26/04/2010 21:42 - New Zealand

Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 721

You deserved it 17 356

This is lit

By a genius - 12/02/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 915

You deserved it 60 294

By kaycie_lynn - 19/02/2010 01:11 - United States

Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 772

You deserved it 71 626

Get back here

By Anonyme - 30/08/2013 10:59 - France - Ivry-sur-seine

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 141

You deserved it 36 002

Holy smokes

By Anonymous - 24/07/2021 18:01

Today, I’m down to my last, partially snapped cigarette. I carefully taped it back together, enough for at least half a smoke. I then snapped it completely while opening the door to go outside and smoke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 1 221

NOT NOW!

By AintEasyBeinWheezy - 28/04/2016 18:26 - United States

Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 346

You deserved it 1 050

By david - 28/04/2009 14:08 - United States

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 154

You deserved it 111 370

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 614

You deserved it 15 141

Smoking is bad

By ID10t - 10/11/2009 05:24 - United States

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 812

You deserved it 53 883

RyeBreadBoy 0

Monday 4 May 2009 1:08

why would you eat candy and smoke at the same time? doesn't the taste of the cigarette kind of overpower the taste of the candy?

Sessee 4

Monday 4 May 2009 1:10

YDI for smoking.

Comments

dummkopf_fml 2

Thursday 12 July 2012 7:55

Cigarettes. They are dangerous.

taka3000000o 8

Tuesday 4 December 2012 19:14

You deserve it for eating a lolipop

itslisa96 2

Wednesday 5 June 2013 17:52

I hate smokers and bad drugs itself. I feel no remorse for you.

littlebiggs23 11

Wednesday 26 February 2014 6:26

Maybe you shouldn't have such a disgusting habit.

doglover100 28

Friday 7 March 2014 22:32

That's nasty.

BrettB321 15

Tuesday 8 July 2014 9:01

Who smokes while eating a lollipop?

pandorajohnson 10

Thursday 31 July 2014 18:40

I'm guessing you licked the lollipop

PerditaDessa 38

Tuesday 2 September 2014 11:24

A lot of FML's would be avoided if people just looked before they licked.

indigohippopo 20

Tuesday 2 December 2014 5:19

who holds a cigarette like a lollipop weren't you holding it with two fingers..??

SEABASSr0130 11

Sunday 4 January 2015 23:15

Hehe stupid

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The Top

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked, "Who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door, "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 134

You deserved it 14 489

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 862

You deserved it 4 066

The Top

Today, a lady came into my workplace to pay her $120 bill in one dollar bills. I kept losing count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 837

You deserved it 12 647

Today, I have a keyboard that randomly jams. If it happens while I'm typing, it will spam said letter for an extended period of time, and nothing I can do makes it stop. It can happen to any key, even the spacebar. It also happens often enough that it goes from mildly convenient to really fucking annoying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 325

Cannonball!

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 248

Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 133

You deserved it 7 202

Today, four years after coming back home from working in another country, I got a tax bill from that country. For my income there from two years ago. If they give me the money I supposedly earned, I'll gladly pay those taxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 89

Today, I enjoyed the soft caressing touch of the person I'm attracted to. It would have been even better if he weren't simply stroking my arm hair in amazement at its superior length and density. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 059

You deserved it 5 075