Miscellaneous: Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop...

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By htothecr - 03/05/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 205

You deserved it 141 038

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Same thing different taste

By CH - 07/12/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 697

You deserved it 41 158

By Michelle - 26/04/2010 21:42 - New Zealand

Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 721

You deserved it 17 356

This is lit

By a genius - 12/02/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 915

You deserved it 60 294

By kaycie_lynn - 19/02/2010 01:11 - United States

Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 772

You deserved it 71 626

Get back here

By Anonyme - 30/08/2013 10:59 - France - Ivry-sur-seine

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 141

You deserved it 36 002

Holy smokes

By Anonymous - 24/07/2021 18:01

Today, I’m down to my last, partially snapped cigarette. I carefully taped it back together, enough for at least half a smoke. I then snapped it completely while opening the door to go outside and smoke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 1 221

NOT NOW!

By AintEasyBeinWheezy - 28/04/2016 18:26 - United States

Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 346

You deserved it 1 050

By david - 28/04/2009 14:08 - United States

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 154

You deserved it 111 370

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 614

You deserved it 15 141

Smoking is bad

By ID10t - 10/11/2009 05:24 - United States

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 812

You deserved it 53 883

RyeBreadBoy 0

Monday 4 May 2009 1:08

why would you eat candy and smoke at the same time? doesn't the taste of the cigarette kind of overpower the taste of the candy?

Sessee 4

Monday 4 May 2009 1:10

YDI for smoking.

Comments

Adree 15

Wednesday 19 January 2011 1:11

Common sense: don't smoke

sugoi72 27

Sunday 1 November 2015 19:58

and don't drive at all

spiderwolf 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 18:49

:3 you my friend are... UHMAZING!!! e-e cuz yewr tarded

IvoryDragon 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 5:17

the loliepop?

hovsep1an 0

Saturday 26 February 2011 5:16

**** you all cigarette haters, if you dont like it well go away and enjoy your "clean" air, im having a smoke now..

sarahboo88 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 3:37

well no worries, in 30 years ull have mouth cancer and the doctors will have to cut out ur tounge. so it doesn't rlly matter.

stupidmonkey80 0

Tuesday 10 May 2011 4:35

gross but y would u be holding both?

DaniLand 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 8:04

Im guessing you licked the fag ;)

SamanthaRose143 6

Wednesday 15 June 2011 2:31

Don't smoke then. Stupidhead.

curlyqtie 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 18:32

That seems kind of trashy. YDI op.

beastwill64 16

Sunday 17 July 2011 14:54

YDI for smoking.

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The Top

Today, my landlord told me they are making my building non-smoking. The main reason I moved to this old run-down building was it was cheap and I could smoke in my own home, since you can't find that anymore. Oh, they also just increased rent by 20%. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 1 041

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The Top

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

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You deserved it 3 814

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I agree, your life sucks 54 709

You deserved it 3 920

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I agree, your life sucks 59 266

You deserved it 13 304

Today, I woke up and remembered that I'm in law school. Now, I'm about to go to sleep, and I'm still in law school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 1 008

Today, it's raining pretty hard and there are a bunch of puddles everywhere. I’m in a full rain suit and great boots, so instead of walking around the puddles, I decided to walk through the biggest one, only to drop down 4 feet, all because the city didn’t cover up a massive manhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 473

You deserved it 1 014

Today, our anniversary, is a disaster. The restaurant gave away our table, even though we were early, and the hotel we’d booked for three nights had a burst pipe, so we had to sleep in the only other hotel, which was so seedy the deskman openly assumed we were two cheaters meeting for a quick fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 129