Miscellaneous: Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw...

By Inconnu - 18/06/2011 05:13 - France

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 584

You deserved it 3 860

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By drunk - 06/03/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 279

You deserved it 40 950

With friends like these…

By marz88 - 24/10/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 697

You deserved it 7 135

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 253

You deserved it 381

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 297

By Anonymous - 17/08/2009 17:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her ex-boyfriend's house party. She got incredibly drunk and I spent the whole night looking after her when she was throwing up. In the brief moment before she passed out she said "thanks Matt, you're a great boyfriend." Matt is her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 468

You deserved it 6 040

Gross, dude!

By Anonymous - 27/05/2010 02:30 - United States

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 411

You deserved it 3 182

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 926

You deserved it 38 549

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 10/11/2022 06:00

Today, my friend got drunk with me and texted my boyfriend, saying she was in love with him and missed him. Her brother came to my house since she got caught drunk and gave a “lecture” on responsibility. I don't know what’s worse, the lecture or the fact that he’s my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 172

Party animal

By Laci - 30/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 930

You deserved it 23 218

By Med - 13/11/2012 12:02 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 791

You deserved it 2 974

NikkiFlysKites 8

Saturday 18 June 2011 12:15

That's when you shove her head into the toilet.

YurTriniFantasy 1

Saturday 18 June 2011 12:15

haha slap her then dunk her head in the toilet... then run... an dump your boyfriend... and go find a guy in a club to sleep with... problem solved OP!

Comments

sonofkarma 5

Saturday 18 June 2011 18:33

bang her head against the toilet for banging your boyfriend

xleanne_aLly 23

Saturday 18 June 2011 18:36

dunk her head in the toilet!

chelseaaababyyy 17

Saturday 18 June 2011 18:55

hes psychic lol

DisappearingRose 18

Saturday 18 June 2011 18:58

I would've dunked her head in the toilet for being a bitch.

flighted 1

Sunday 19 June 2011 23:55

I LOVE HAIRY ARMS

berryblue 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 19:03

i would of kicked her ass

mutinykitty 18

Saturday 18 June 2011 19:34

I would've thrown her head in the toilet and held it there!

Erindub 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 20:14

Thats when you stop holding her hair and push her head into the toilet

lacessit68 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 20:16

Her face would be in the toilet.

Aburlucy 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 20:42

I would have shoved her face in her vomit.

MarkGoldstein 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 21:42

gameplan: she won't remember telling you. so, you can give you boyfriend one last hand job. accidentally swap icy hot for lotion. when he screaming in pain, dump him.